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Posted
Feb 26 2010, 10:08 AM
by
KATV
with no comments
Welcome to the Survivor panel! Each week, four TV
experts discuss the recent happenings on Survivor: Heroes vs.
Villains, from
the crazy challenges to the shocking blindsides.
 Kat Angus, Dose.ca
I really need to stop believing the "next time on Survivor" promos, because last week, it intimated that James' bullying tendencies would get out of control and the rest of the Heroes tribe would rebel against him. But other than a civil discussion at the start of the episode and a show of strength during the challenge (which doesn't count, because, you know, it's a challenge), the "James is a jerk" storyline was a complete non-starter.
Instead, this week was all about the redemption of the Heroes, as they bonded while catching some chickens and didn't yell at each other so much. Doesn't seem like much of a strategy, but it appeared to work, because the Heroes completely destroyed the Villains at the joint reward/immunity challenge. Of course, the glorified mud-wrestling competition involved zero puzzles and required nothing but brute strength. But hey, a win is a win - especially when the final score is 8 to 0.
So after their first immunity loss, the Villains suddenly had to strategize -- but not much, as it turns out. The two names put forward for elimination were Parvati, the flirtatious ditz who does nothing around camp, or Randy, the old man who is old. Once again, despite their intimate knowledge of Survivor, none of the Villains put much thought into eliminating a major threat. Sure, there was a brief mention of Parvati's alliance members over on the Heroes tribe, but when it came to tribal council, the Villains decided Randy's inherent oldness was just too old to keep around. Because why keep a harmless coot around when you can give someone like Boston Rob another three days to manipulate everyone? For a supposed "all-star" cast, these players keep making the same, dumb mistakes the newbies make their first time around.
The promo for next week suggests that Russell is in danger of being voted out, which pretty much guarantees that he's not going anywhere. That's right, Survivor: I'm onto you.
Kat Angus is the TV editor for Dose.ca. She is great at puzzles.
 Michael Bolen, The Ampersand
Early in the game, when votes are still relatively obvious and alliances have yet to solidify, things can get a little boring. Thursday night’s third episode of Heroes vs. Villains was a classic example. Last week’s show compensated for the inherent lameness of the early game by focusing on James’ supposed meltdown, while this week’s honed in on Parvati’s manipulation of her male competitors. In both cases we are supposed to believe these star players are in jeopardy and yet inevitably the tribe votes out the old guy or the annoying weak girl instead. Did anyone actually think Sugar or Randy would be contenders? They were only chum for the sharks.
And the sharks have certainly begun to circle. On the Villains’ side, Rob and Coach seem set to form an unlikely alliance, with Jerri and Tyson along for the ride. Set against them is Russell and Parvati’s dream team, with Courtney, Sandra and Danielle’s votes playing the swing role. Rob and Coach remain supremely confident and may be underestimating the likelihood this new power couple (too much?) will sway the women to their side.
The Heroes, meanwhile, seem set to eliminate Candice at the next available opportunity. After that, Tom and Colby will be completely isolated, and even if they succeed in making it the merge by winning challenges, their honourable (naïve?) style of play seems unlikely to get them very far with this particular cast of schemers. JT appears to be the only player positioned to manoeuvre his tribe in a less predictable direction. His lies about Candice this week are just one more example of why he possesses the total Survivor package — he’s strong in challenges, eminently likable and willing to stab you in the back the moment it becomes convenient. If I had to vote for a hero, it would be him.
We may have to endure another couple weeks of contrived conflict and complaints about the weather, but the battle lines for the coming drama are already forming.
Michael Bolen blogs for the National Post’s theampersand.ca and would never cuddle with an ally. You can read his full recap of Thursday night’s episode here.
 Amber Dowling, TV Guide
Survivor has changed. Just ask Colby, who shook his head at Tom last night and mused, “I don’t think I can play this game,” or Steph, who admitted in her exit interview the real players had zero chance thanks to pre-formed alliances.
The L.A. players, as last week’s victim called them, have taken this game by storm, perhaps jeopardizing the purity of the social experiment that once made this show so fascinating to watch. Beloved players like Tom and Boston Rob, or even villains like Jerri will be left mouths gaping once the likes of Parvati, James, JT and Russell bite.
That’s right, three weeks in and Russell is starting his game, and it’s going to result in Rob’s exit. But probably not before Russ makes good on his promise of sabotaging Rob and stealing his prime possession: The Hat.
For now the villains are playing the old fashioned way, snuffing Randy for his age, despite Coach’s hypocritical promise to be honourable to the Gabon alum. Was anyone really fooled? Randy didn’t have nearly enough editing time for anyone to think he’d make it far, but I certainly missed his caustic remarks this time around. Where’s a plate of cookies when you need one?
Amber is the editor of TV Guide Canada and agrees with Courtney that James is on the wrong tribe. You can read her recap of last night's Survivor episode here.
 Bill Brioux, TV Feeds My Family
Survivor was up against the Women’s hockey final Thursday night so I missed it. The good news is Canada won.
Fortunately, I remembered to PVR Survivor, which if you don’t know by now airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on Global—just as it has this entire century.
The immunity challenge was some sort of kinky mud wrestling event where the two tribes went to war with dirty pillows. Heroes won with ease. It was like a replay of the women’s hockey final.
Remember that hit Ovechkin put on Jagr? That was nothing compared to James’ take out of Randy. Just destroyed him. As a result, Heroes got coffee and snax and Villains had to go listen to Jeff ask “do past alliances factor in here?” for the umpteenth time at tribal council. The answer is yes, Jeff, write it down.
There was a bunch of editing to try and make it look like Parvati was a goner, but that little tramp didn’t win a million bucks for nothing. She already has the men in her tribe under her witchy spell. She stood in the lake, scrubbed the mud off her tan lines and took Coach apart quicker than that hit James’ put on Randy. At the vote, Randy got clobbered again. He threw his red tribal thingy in the fire and stomped off to loser hotel, where he told Coach he’d see him soon and have a drink ready. I can’t see Randy saving any.
Also Parvati called Jerri a pathetic old cougar. And Russell hid a knife. Next week: Coach gets creepy-weepy.
Bill Brioux would like to remind everyone that Survivor airs Thursdays at 8 on Global. He writes the blog TV Feeds My Family.
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Posted
Feb 24 2010, 03:29 PM
by
KATV
with 5 comment(s)
Could it be? A Jack-centric Lost episode in which I don't find Jack to be totally loathsome? Who knew it was possible?
Against all odds, I enjoyed almost every part of "Lighthouse," even though the episode provided zero answers (and, in fact, brought up more questions) and the off-island story didn't provide much new insight into Jack's character. Despite myself, I found the episode not only exciting but quite touching as well.
In the off-island storyline, we find out that in this reality, Jack has a teenage son named David (Dylan Minnette) whom he only sees once a month, and who seems to hate Jack almost as much as Jack hated his own dad. Jack spends much of the episode trying (and failing) to connect with his son, and when David doesn't return home one night, Jack does some panicked detective work, only to find out that David is at a piano audition for a competitive music school. (My first reaction: "Hey, Lost, 'brilliant surgeon has a troubled relationship with his piano prodigy son' storyline was done first, and better, by Everwood.") It becomes clear that Jack thought David quit playing the piano years ago, and when he shows up to the audition, he's amazed to see David playing a piece (Chopin, I think, but I'm horribly lacking in culture) to near perfection. On his way out, Jack meets Dogen (he, too, has a son auditioning), who gives Jack some nice words about not putting too much pressure on their children. Outside the auditions, Jack and David have an absolutely lovely scene where David admits his dad used to put too much pressure on him to play the piano, and so he kept the audition a secret because he didn't want Jack to see him fail. Jack counters this by revealing the pressure he faced from his own dad, and how he never wants David to feel that way - in short, he'll always love him, and in Jack's eyes, David can never fail.
Granted, this off-island storyline didn't have the emotional resonance of that from "The Substitute," but that's probably because we already knew Locke's previous history with Helen, and seeing him happy with her provided beautiful closure and some relief to viewers who worried he would be alone forever. But Matthew Fox and Dylan Minnette knocked that final scene together out of the park - to the point that I actually forgot I'd never even seen David before this week. Matthew Fox plays humbled sadness so well that I didn't even care that the storyline essentially told us all what we already knew: that Jack has lived his whole life under his dad's shadow and that he's more like him than he wants to admit. I'm a sucker for a heartwarming father-son scene (as evidenced by my previous love of Everwood), and it was nice to see Jack exhibit even a hint of self-awareness.
But heck, I even liked Jack's on-island story, even though he was his usual Jack-hole self as he and Hurley went on a secret, Jacob-sanctioned mission to the titular lighthouse. On the way they find Kate (who quickly goes off on her own anyway, like she'd do anything else) and the good o' Season 1 caves (where Hurley finds Adam and Eve, and wonders if he travels back in time again and dies, if his body will end up becoming one of the skeletons - a popular fan theory, which almost guarantees it's false). But the main show was the giant lighthouse, which has to be set to 108 degrees - but while looking in the lighthouse mirror, Jack sees reflections of a temple. Seeing that his own name is at 23 degrees, Jack moves the mirror there, only to see a reflection of his childhood home. Certain that Jacob has been spying on him for his whole life (and pissed that Jacob isn't showing up to provide some answers), Jack impulsively destroys the mirrors and goes off to sulk.
Of course, this moment is very frustrating, especially since the magic mirror was pretty cool and I wanted to see what Hurley would have seen in its reflection. But this is island Jack - of course he's going to destroy something that could ultimately help him, because that's what he does. We're now in Season 6, and by this point, you either love Jack for his stupid behaviour, or you hate the behaviour but grudgingly accept it. Frankly, I was more impressed that island Jack had gotten to the point that he even admitted to Hurley that back in Season 1, he found the caves by chasing the ghost of his dead father. I was sure that was something he would never admit to anyone, but I like that after travelling through time - twice! - and seeing everything they've seen, even Jack has to say, "You know what? Fine: I chase my dead dad around the jungle." Jack is still the man who will sabotage himself just to piss off other people, but he's not completely without growth. And come on: pairing up Jack and Hurley for an entire episode is comedy gold. Hurley got the best line of the night: "I just lied to a Samurai!"
But the best part of this episode was CRAZY CLAIRE! We finally got to see the extent to which she's lost her mind over the last three years - the meek, boring Claire we knew from seasons past is gone, and thank goodness, because she is so much more interesting this way. After bringing an injured Jin back to her shelter, she also drags in one of the Other Others (played by BLT from Degrassi! He's alive! For about 20 minutes!) to question about what happened to Aaron - because, of course, she thinks the Others have him, a belief apparently bolstered by her father and her "friend." Jin, while initially on Claire's side, slowly begins to realize how the sweet Claire he knew three years ago is not the person in front of him, and how desperately he needs to get away from her. (The creepy baby boar skeleton in the crib probably didn't help.) In an attempt to save BLT's life, he tells Claire about Kate taking Aaron, which she seems to believe, but after she kills BLT anyway, Jin tells her he was lying in order to save his life. Good thing, Claire says, because if Kate did have Aaron, Claire would have to kill her. (Did my birthday come early this year?!) And then UnLocke shows up, and Claire introduces him as the "friend" she was talking about earlier. So has Claire really been destroyed by the darkness? Or has she just been manipulated by the wrong people?
This episode really increased my opinion of Emilie de Ravin, who I never found to be that compelling an actress - although on Lost, they hadn't given her much to do, and on Roswell, everyone hated her character anyway. But "Lighthouse" proved that, given some good material, de Ravin can really work with it. (However, yesterday I saw Remember Me, her new movie with Robert Pattinson, and let me say this: nothing could have saved that movie. Good lord.) I was terrified for Jin the entire time, and it looks like they're headed to the temple next week, which should mean for some fun violence on those stupid Others who keep refusing to share information. (Jin and Sun better be reunited - and Claire better not kill one of them, whether accidentally or on purpose - or I will be pissed.)
Furthermore, there were more hints that the two timelines are going to converge at some point, or at least still affect each other - in the new timeline, Jack can't remember when he got his appendix out, because he had it removed on the island. (His mother tells him it happened when he was seven, but Jack doesn't seem to really remember that.) And his mother reading Claire's name in Jack's father's will indicates that there will be even more character crossovers in future flash-sideways.
What did you guys think of the episode?
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Posted
Feb 19 2010, 10:05 AM
by
KATV
with no comments
Welcome to the Survivor panel! Each week, four TV
experts discuss the recent happenings on Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, from
the crazy challenges to the shocking blindsides.
Kat Angus, Dose.ca
You
know it’s a good episode of Survivor when Boston Rob collapsing is merely the
amuse bouche before the delicious main course. But before we get to the filet
mignon, let’s talk about Rob’s medical emergency, a moment that rang a little
false.
You
mean to tell me the cameraman saw Rob pass out and, instead of calling for
help, decided to wait until a member of the Heroes tribe came along? I don’t
doubt that Rob collapsed or needed medical attention; it just seemed more
likely that cameras completely missed his fall the first time and the incident
was dramatically reenacted later on. Not that it mattered in the long run – Rob
turned out to be fine, just dehydrated, and he’s still in the game.
And
it’s a good thing for the Villains, since his newfound take-charge attitude is
what led the tribe to their second consecutive immunity win. And that’s when
the Heroes tribe went completely crazypants. James, arbitrarily deciding that
Stephenie was responsible for their loss, turned nasty at tribal council,
bullying the poor woman as she unsuccessfully tried to defend herself. Colby
and Tom yelled right back at him, and Jeff Probst could only look on in
disbelief as the Heroes tribe unraveled right before his eyes.
The
editors tried to build up some suspense as to whether Stephenie or Amanda would
be voted out, but they didn’t try hard enough: Amanda had only been on screen
for a few seconds during the entire episode, so we knew she wasn’t going
anywhere. Even in triumph, James couldn’t stop being an ass, yelling “keep your
mouth shut” as Stephenie left the game. Oh, how quickly my reality TV crush on
him faded.
Kat
Angus is the TV editor for Dose.ca. Her new Survivor crush is Tom.
Amber Dowling, TV
Guide
What constitutes a hero anyhow? Tom, frequently touted by
Jeff Probst as one of the greatest winners of all time, was a righteous fuddy
duddy — and hypocrite — last night. He called James a bully during Tribal
Council for pointing a finger at obnoxious Stephanie, but in Palau the former
firefighter bullied Ian Gallagher into quitting the final immunity challenge 12
hours in, costing Gallagher a million bucks.
And James … what Samoan bug crawled up his knickers? Perhaps
he’s cranky from secretly cutting himself (it wasn’t shown on camera), but the
gravedigger told us he would play a more social game this season — did that
mean calling the shots like a man on Scooby Snacks? James’ disdain towards
Stephanie combined with Rupert’s desire for her ousting solidified the early
tribal divide typical of all-star seasons, thanks to pre-show chatter (or
bedding, as in the rumoured case of Sugar and JT), and set the scene for a
major blow-out with our so-called Heroes next week.
Perhaps this season should have been called Brawn vs.
Brains?
Amber is the editor of TV Guide Canada and credits Boston Rob for
making her realize sometimes it is sexy when a man cries. Just a little.
Michael Bolen, The
Ampersand
Thursday night’s episode succinctly presented two of the
game’s most durable truisms. 1. Brains are always better than brawn and 2.
“Perception is not reality, reality is reality.”
Eric from Samoa may have been a certifiable
nutcase, but his pronouncement on the constructed nature of Survivor continues
to prove prescient. It was only too convenient to present James as the gullible
but lovable, “aww shucks” strongman during his two previous seasons. But now,
without any obviously dastardly characters to draw upon amongst the Heroes, the
producers have begun casting the gravedigger’s fury over defeats in a dark new
light. What was once an endearing illustration of zeal is now portrayed as
boorishness verging on lunacy. Yet, somehow his tribe didn’t see it the same
way, and Stephanie went home. Who knows where the truth really lies?
It isn’t likely to be found in the Villains camp, where the level of game-play
is just that much higher. The Heroes may have three of the strongest players in
history in Colby, James and JT, but the Villains continue to outdo their rivals
in puzzles. Physical strength can take you far in the game, but it usually
doesn’t lead to a million-dollar cheque. Just ask Colby. Intelligence is at
least as important as strength in the challenges, and is immeasurably more
valuable when it comes to the social game. This doesn’t bode well for the
Heroes come merge.
As Colby noted, the good guys have already shifted from teamwork to
self-preservation and seem destined to find themselves outnumbered when the
tribes unite. After that, who knows? Despite his clandestine toad licking,
Boston Rob appears to be the de-facto leader of the dark side, but whom he will
ally with remains a mystery. Besides Coach and Jerri, no obvious alliances have
formed on the Dark Side. Look for Russell to make a big move against Rob or
Parvati as soon as he gets a chance. He can’t help it.
Michael Bolen blogs for the National Post’s theampersand.ca and desperately
wants to feed Courtney a cheeseburger. You can read his full recap of episode
two of Heroes vs. Villains here.
Bill Brioux, TV Feeds
My Family
In Week Two, Boston Rob was near death after eating a bad
burrito or something. Jeff Probst gave him a foot massage and that seemed to
help, except then Rob started hallucinating. “I respect it too much not to
play,” he babbled, red eyes blazing, before pointing at the sky and shouting,
“Da planes! Da planes!”
Rob snapped out of it just in time to help the Villains win
another immunity challenge. These challenge deals seem extra lame now that the
Olympics are on. After watching Shaun White corkscrew a mile in the air on a
snowboard, well, who cares about fame sucking weasels pushing building blocks
around in the sand?
Then James went berserk and threatened to kill any of his
tribemates who didn’t vote Stephanie off the island. Then I switched to the
hockey game for about half an hour. What the hell?? Switzerland?? A shoot out??
Canada
won, 3-2. I switched back to Survivor but it was over. But I tell ya,
Boston Rob is this whole show. He’s over his “crybabyitis” and is back to his
bad guy self. If they vote him off next week, this show is in a deeper hole
than Team Canada.
Bill Brioux wants some of what Boston Rob is smokin'. He
blogs about all this stuff at tvfeedsmyfamily.blogspot.com
Check out last week's Survivor Experts Panel here. Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET on
Global.
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Posted
Feb 18 2010, 04:46 PM
by
KATV
with 1 comment(s)
With the Olympics on, I was worried there would be little to talk about on the podcast this week. But no fear! Jeevan and I found plenty to talk about, from all the stupidity on the Amazing Race premiere to how much we love Community. And Dose.ca Managing Editor Jen McDonnell was nice enough to stop by to talk about Lost again.
Listen to the podcast below, or just download the mp3. And you can always subscribe to the TV Casualty podcast on iTunes.
The TV Casualty podcast, Ep. 5: Big dogs gotta roar
 Subscribe to the TV Casualty Podcast on iTunes
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Posted
Feb 17 2010, 01:34 PM
by
KATV
with 2 comment(s)
After "What Kate Does," I was beginning to wonder if this season's flash-sideways were a good idea. Since there was so much plot to cover on island, I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend half of the final season off the island in the parallel timeline. But "The Substitute," this week's Locke-centred episode, showed that done right (and if Terry O'Quinn is involved), the off-island storylines can be every bit as enthralling and touching as what happens on the island.
And, after all my hand-wringing that the off-island timeline would show that the characters are ultimately the same no matter what, "The Substitute" showed us that in the parallel timeline, John Locke is actually a much happier, more well-adjusted man. Yes, he's still in his wheelchair and is still grappling with that, but the episode shows us that with the support of his fiancee Helen (in this timeline, they're still together - and thank goodness, because Katey Sagal is fantastic) and chance meetings with both Hurley and Rose, Locke is able to accept the things he can't do and focus on the things he can. He gets fired from the box company, but it's a blessing in disguise, because by the end of the episode, Locke is a substitute teacher at a high school and seems to enjoy it - and he seems to enjoy the company of one of his coworkers, a certain Benjamin Linus. (Ben apparently teaches European History. Heh.) This Locke has chosen not to believe in destiny, and seems much happier for it -- before, he believed he was meant for something and was unable to reach it, and in this timeline, he's deciding for himself what he's meant for. Fantastic work by O'Quinn, and it was a nice happy ending for Locke. (Well, a happy ending for now.)
That's not to say that the on-island story wasn't itself entertaining, because oh, it was - mostly because of the opportunity to watch Terry O'Quinn and Josh Holloway work together. After UnLocke lets Richard go when the latter refuses to join his cause (though we do find out that Jacob apparently never told Richard anything), he goes and fetches Sawyer from New Otherton. Awesomely, Sawyer is in his underthings and getting very drunk, and, even more awesomely, he susses out right away that UnLocke is not the real John Locke. ("John Locke was scared," Sawyer says. "You're not.") At first, Sawyer wants nothing more than to be left alone, but when UnLocke promises to show him exactly why he's on the island, Sawyer reluctantly follows. ("I guess I should put on some pants," he growls. Ha!) The two make their way to the edge of the island, down a very rickety ladder (which almost kills Sawyer) and into a cave, where Sawyer sees countless names written on the walls with numbers beside them - and all the names but six have been crossed out: Ford (Sawyer's real last name), Locke, Shepard, Kwon, Reyes and Jarrah. And can you guess which numbers are written beside these names? If you're stumped, well, then you haven't been paying attention for the last five seasons and change.
What UnLocke tells Sawyer (and us) is that Jacob considered them each candidates to take over his job of protecting the island -- though UnLocke insists it doesn't need to be protected. So, he says, Sawyer has three choices: wait and see what happens (but, he implies, this will mean he's dead, as UnLocke crosses Locke's name off the wall), accept the job and protect the island, or just get the hell away from there, with UnLocke going with him. Is it any surprise that Sawyer says "hell yes" to the last one?
An interesting turn of events, both on and off the island. We're getting some forward motion as far as the mysteries are concerned - it's still not entirely clear how those numbers keep turning up everywhere, but it's nice to see that they do mean something. Of course, there's no explanation as to why Kate's name isn't on the wall at all - or, if it is, why it's crossed off. (Did anyone pause the episode and find out which other crossed-out names were on there?) And UnLocke is doing a good job of making us question Jacob's motives -- it certainly seems like Jacob may not have had everyone's best interests at heart. Most importantly, the parallel timeline has made me question everything I thought about how the show would end - I'd always assumed the show would end with Locke taking over the island and staying there forever. But, duh, he's dead on the island, and the off-island Locke is happy and fulfilled. If the timelines do converge and the characters are given the choice of which reality they want to be in, I'm no longer sure if Locke will choose the island. And, to be honest, I'm not sure that he should. I'm glad that the writers have made me so unsure.
Other thoughts:
-- So UnLocke and Sawyer both saw a little blonde boy on the island, and when UnLocke chased after him, all the boy would say, "You know the rules. You can't kill him." What's the verdict on the kid's identity? A new Jacob? Some iteration of Aaron?
-- Sawyer had plenty of great one-liners, including the above "put on
pants" line, but I also loved when UnLocke came back from chasing the
boy and Sawyer asked if he caught him. When UnLocke replied "What
boy?", Sawyer did a great snort/eye-roll and just said, "Right," and kept moving. Because by this point, what else can he do?
-- We also got to see Ben, Sun, Lapidus and Ilana bury the real Locke, which led to the best exchange of the entire episode. Ben: "John Locke was a... believer. He was a man of faith. He was a much better man than I will ever be, and I'm very sorry I murdered him." Lapidus: "Weirdest funeral I've ever been to." Fantastic.
-- Again, no update on what's happened to Jack, Sayid, Kate, Jin or Claire, but I imagine that'll happen next time. Like Alan Sepinwall said, if Sun goes to the Temple and Jin is still running around the jungle, I'm going to get very annoyed with how often they keep missing each other.
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Posted
Feb 16 2010, 02:40 PM
by
KATV
with 1 comment(s)
This is bound to be a short entry today, because despite The Bachelor being two hours long, even less happened last night than usual. Think about how little happens during a regular episode of The Bachelor, then divide it by 100. There you have it: two hours of my life I'll never get back.
So Jake and the girls are in St. Lucia, and Jake talks about how taking a trip with somebody is a great way to get to know them, which is true if you had already spent a lot of time with them IN THE REAL WORLD. In the real world, you think you know everything about a person, and then you go on a trip and find out your significant other likes to yell at flight attendants or something. (Not that I'm speaking from personal experience.) Getting to know somebody within the fantasy of The Bachelor and then going to St. Lucia with them will tell you nothing about them. Ugh. But this is Jake "Heart Appeal" Pavelka, so it's not like anything he says makes any actual sense anyway.
Now, like I said, hardly anything happened during the dates, so I'll just quickly summarize each one:
Gia: Jake likes Gia, and is amazed that she can own $700 boots but still not be a terrible person. (Yeah, follow that logic.) They make out, then they go to the "fantasy suite" and probably do it.
Tenley: Her voice is annoying, but somehow Jake's eardrums don't explode. Tenley talks about her ex-husband, like, A MILLION TIMES, but she and Jake still make out and then they go to the "fantasy suite" and probably do it.
Vienna: She's a deep-fried mess of neuroses and immaturity, but Jake likes that, especially since it's attached to a nice pair of fake boobs. Vienna tells Jake she loves him; they make out. Then they go to the "fantasy suite" and definitely do it.
Yeah, you guys didn't miss anything. Trust me.
Then Ali, who left last week, made a not-at-all-staged call to Jake in St. Lucia, begging to come back because she knew she'd made a mistake. This whole segment was hilarious; it's like the producers don't even want to pretend the show is real anymore. First of all, Ali sleeps with two framed photos of Jake on her night table? Right. Jake, of course, tells Ali to buzz off (but in a nicer, faker way), and Ali pretends to cry for a while, talking about how she passed on love and doesn't know if she'll ever find it again. Gosh, could Ali be the next Bachelorette? Because then we'd really find out if she can find love again! How convenient that she would say something that could so easily be repurposed for Bachelorette commercials! (While I don't particularly like Ali - or anyone on this show - I have to admit I'm pleased I'll get to use the term "Bitchelorette" a lot more.)
After all that, there's still the Rose Ceremony. And duh, Gia gets dumped, because - hello - $700 boots! Nobody who has $700 boots is capable of true love! On her way out, Gia had one of the more graceful exits this season, telling Jake he probably made the right decision (even as she was crying her eyes out). If it weren't for her lispy voice and her Joker-esque smile, I might have almost liked Gia. Almost. Maybe.
Next week is the Women Tell All special, and it's almost never as trashy as I hope it's going to be. But maybe this time! Fingers crossed! Then, in two weeks, Jake finally makes his decision. My prediction? He goes with Vienna, because he already knows he has Vienna 100 per cent. Of course, if that is what happens, there's no way the relationship will last, but that's my guess.
What did you guys think of the episode?
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Posted
Feb 11 2010, 03:47 PM
by
KATV
with 2 comment(s)
Another week, another totally rad podcast. This week, Jeevan Brar and I discuss Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains (well, I talk about it and Jeevan pretends he knows what I'm talking about), the desperate women on The Bachelor, and then the wonderful Jen McDonnell shows up to talk about this week's episode of Lost. (Our main question: why is everyone so stupid?)
Listen to the podcast below, or just download the mp3. And you can always subscribe to the TV Casualty podcast on iTunes.
The TV Casualty podcast, Ep. 4: I can't eat four pounds of meat, because that's ridiculous
Subscribe to the TV Casualty Podcast on iTunes
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Posted
Feb 10 2010, 01:21 PM
by
KATV
with 1 comment(s)
As a general rule, the Kate-centric episodes of Lost tend to be less captivating than most, and "What Kate Did" followed in that tradition, spending most of the hour setting up plot points for the show to knock down in the following weeks. The Lost writers have always held a certain fondness for Kate that the audience doesn't seem to share - but, strangely enough, the biggest problems with last night's episode didn't have much to do with Kate, specifically.
But first, yes, this week's "flash-sideways" show that in the non-crash time line, Kate hijacked Claire's cab while escaping from the airport. She soon kicks Claire out of the cab, but once she looks in Claire's luggage (after paying a mechanic to remove her cuffs) and realizing Claire is a soon-to-be mother, Kate goes back for her and drives her to the adoptive parents' house. In the other time line, Claire's psychic had lied to her about a couple in L.A. in order to get her on the flight that would crash; this time, there is a couple, but they've split up and the woman no longer wants to adopt the child. (But it's good to see that Claire still possesses terrible judgment, as she accepts a ride from the woman who carjacked her.) The stress of this realization makes Claire experience contractions, so off they go to the hospital (and in a moment that was far to "aren't we clever?" on the writers' parts, her doctor is none other than Ethan), where although Claire does not end up giving birth, she realizes that she wants to keep the child and name him Aaron. There's a look of realization on both their faces when the name Aaron comes up, indicating that yes, the two time lines are related.
But that's the moment that didn't quite ring true for me. Yes, it's far more interesting if the two time lines are connected somehow, but is the non-crash time line supposed to show that, despite not arriving on the island, they're still the same people? Because after all that we've seen over the last five seasons, that doesn't seem possible. Jin has become a more open, loving husband, Sawyer has grown up and learned that he's capable of being so much more than a con-man, and John Locke (before his very sad death) was physically and mentally transformed by the island. Sure, it could be argued that the island simply amplified aspects of the characters that were always there, but then why have we spent the last five years watching these people? Examining how the crash and the non-crash affected these people is an interesting approach for the final season, but if the ultimate conclusion is "it doesn't matter either way," then why bother?
Meanwhile, back in the crash time line, the Other Others are already wearing out their welcome, simply because of their steadfast refusal to explain anything. I realize the nature of Lost requires many characters to keep secrets, but when keeping quiet makes a situation more difficult for everybody, then it just seems like the writers are trying to put off the revelations for no good reason. After they "question" (read: torture) Sayid, and then try to get Jack to poison him without telling him what exactly they're doing, it takes nearly the entire hour (and Jack almost poisoning himself - damn, so close!) to find out that they believe Sayid to be "claimed" by the notorious sickness, and that he'll soon be better off dead - because the same thing happened to Claire. How much easier would it have been to just tell Jack and the other Losties this right away? For a group trying so hard to protect themselves from the monster, they sure do like making things hard on themselves.
Even then, it wasn't until the last few minutes of the episode that we saw any real forward movement - as Jin searches the jungle for Sun (and that reunion better be coming soon, or I will be very mad), he runs into Claire, who has apparently become the new Rousseau. Naturally, it will be at least another week until we find out anything about that - though I wouldn't put it past the Lost writers to completely ignore that storyline in the next episode. But after five seasons of Lost, I'm still not sure why this surprises me.
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Posted
Feb 09 2010, 02:14 PM
by
KATV
with no comments
Oh em gee, you guys, that was the MOST! SHOCKING! ROSE! CEREMONY! EVER! Well, not really, because there wasn't a rose ceremony. And we all knew what was coming anyway. But! Other than that! Totally shocking!
This was featured the hometown dates for the girls, as Jake had to meet all their families and pretend he totally cared about what they thought. Gia was first up, and right out of the gate, she talks about how insecure she is when she thinks about Jake with the other three girls. ("What show do you think you're on?" Count: 1.) But she takes him on the kind of date no real New Yorker would ever go on, which is a boat ride down the river to show him all the fancy, big-city buildings. (I can just imagine Jake, in awe: "Wow, is that building more than ten stories high? And it has running water?!") But soon it was off to meet Gia's family, and I swear, it was like the Gotti family and Pauly D from Jersey Shore got together and pretended to be related to Gia. Before you know it, Gia's mom is grilling Jake about dating three other women, as if he's a jerk for this. Listen, Gia's mom, if you don't want your daughter to be with a guy who is dating other girls on television, don't let her be on The Bachelor. It is not Jake's fault your daughter is in this position; it's your daughter's fault, because she's the one who signed up for the show to begin with. Augh. ("What show do you think you're on?" Count: 2.) But everything seemed to go over pretty well, and Jake and Gia made out, because Gia is kind of hot. (Her Joker-esque mouth really is freaking me out, though.)
Then it's off to Massachusetts to see Ali in her hometown - I mean, her hometown other than San Francisco. (Selfish! Pick a hometown and stick with it!) Following a very weird/creepy segment where Ali parades Jake through her dead grandmother's house, like it's a museum or something, Jake meets Ali's family, including her mom, who is supposedly very hard to impress. But no one is immune to Jake's charms, am I right, ladies? I mean, other than me, because I like my men with a personality. Once Ali's mom gives the OK, Ali takes this as her cute to run outside with Jake and tell him that she would marry him right then, if he wanted. Uh, Ali? Jake is contractually obligated not to tell you how he feels, so if you're expecting some huge, definite, romantic declaration, you've got another thing coming. (More on that later.) However, if you were just expect Jake to ram his tongue down your throat, well, good instincts.
And then, oh. Tenley. Oh, Tenley. Her hometown date was so uncomfortable, because it pretty much consisted of two things: talking about her ex-husband, and doing an embarrassing dance. Yes, Tenley took Jake to the dance studio where she taught when she was younger, and she took the opportunity to EXPRESS HERSELF THROUGH THE MEDIUM OF DANCE. If you think it was insanely hard to watch, you are right - and I would say it was impossible to watch, at least without giggling in embarrassment. But, even worse, Tenley and the rest of her family spent almost the entire time talking about how much Tenley was hurt by her ex-husband and how they don't want her to get hurt again. Well, then maybe she shouldn't have signed up to be on The Bachelor. God, this is not such a hard concept. If you don't want to get hurt in a relationship, the first step is probably not to go on a show where you have a 96 per cent shot of getting dumped. ("What show do you think you're on?" Count: 3 and 4.)
But the stupidity isn't over, because Jake flies off to Florida to meet Vienna and her creepy dad. Yes, Vienna and her dad have the creepiest relationship ever, because they are just too, too close. Yes, it's good to have a good relationship with your family, but this borders on inappropriate, and it's painfully clear that Vienna's father has never taught her how to be a responsible, independent adult, and at the very least, she will be depending on him for a very long time. That is not how to raise a child, people. You need to teach them to fend for themselves, even - especially - when they mess up. OK, rant over, but naturally, Vienna's dad gives Jake the ol' "So, you're dating three women other than my perfect princess?" line, and again, that is the show your daughter signed up for. If you have a problem with this, take it up with her, not Jake. ("What show do you think you're on?" Count: 5.) Incredibly, despite the creepy father-daughter dynamic and the stupid questions, Jake things the date went pretty well. Blech.
And even after all that, it's still not close to over yet, because back in L.A., Ali finds out that if she doesn't leave the show, she's going to lose her job. Cue about four thousand hours of her sobbing to Jake and trying to make up her mind and crying, "I don't know what to doooooo!" She tells Jake that before she got there, she was sure she'd stay, but then she saw the three other girls, and now she's not sure. What, did she think Jake had dumped the other girls already? ("What show do you think you're on?" Count: 6.) And then it becomes painfully, painfully clear that she wants Jake to tell her that if she stays, he'll pick her at the end. Which he clearly can't tell her, because he will get sued if he does. But apparently this doesn't occur to Ali, who thinks Jake should just pick her already, even though he signed a contract that binds him to a certain number of episodes. ("What show do you think you're on?" Count: 7.) So, ultimately, Ali decides to leave, and HURRAY, because there was way too much crying and moping on her part and I don't think I could have taken it any longer. (And yeah, a job you love is worth way more than a 1 in 4 shot at a relationship that probably won't work out because you don't actually know very much about each other.) Adios, Bitchelorette!
Bachelorette I Love (This Week): Tenley, just because that dance was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
Bachelorette I Hate (This Week): I don't hate Vienna, but I hate her dad, because not only did he raise his daughter to be a codependent idiot, but he clearly doesn't see the problem with that. DO NOT RAISE YOUR DAUGHTERS LIKE THIS, WORLD.
Next week, Jake and the girls are off to St. Lucia! Because if you want to know if your relationship can make it in the real world, you should take a fantasy vacation as far away from the real world as possible.
What did you guys think of the episode?
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Posted
Feb 04 2010, 02:21 PM
by
KATV
with no comments
Jeevan Brar and I are back with another edition of the TV Casualty podcast! This week, we discuss the Grammy awards (Jeevan likes the performances; I just don't care), Ron Swanson's mustache (verdict: dreamy), Ugly Betty's cancellation (boo!) and how the heck James van der Beek makes so much money.
Listen to the podcast below, or you can download the mp3. And remember, you can now subscribe to the TV Casualty podcast on iTunes.
TV Casualty podcast, Ep. 3: I need a giant forehead and an annoying sense of self-righteousness. (Download mp3)
Subscribe to the TV Casualty Podcast on iTunes
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Posted
Feb 03 2010, 04:08 PM
by
KATV
with 1 comment(s)
The sixthand final season of Lost premiered last night, and everything changed, and everything stayed the same.
Following the last moments of last season's finale, when Juliet detonated the hydrogen bomb in an attempt to reset the timeline, we see Jack back on the original Oceanic 815 flight, which seems to be... not crashing, like it initially did. But not everything is the same as it was the first time around - the stewardess only gives him one bottle of vodka, not two, and this time, Jack is the one afraid of flying, not Rose. And then we see the biggest change, as the camera zooms into the ocean: the entire island, including the foot of the four-toed statue, is underwater.
So this means that detonating the bomb worked, right? Well, sort of. Because then we see the group back on the island, following the explosion - they're back in the present, and they're still on the island. And this is when it becomes clear that we're following two different time lines: one in which the plane didn't crash, and one where it did. Think of it as Sliding Doors, except there's no Gwyneth Paltrow (thank God).
It's an interesting and brave tack for Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse to take - on the one hand, it seems like they just couldn't decide which way to go, but on the other, if handled right, this new method of storytelling opens up a lot of new doors. We see that detonating the bomb has changed quite a few things about the original flight: Hurley is now the luckiest man in the world, Desmond is on the plane (since there's now no island for him to be stranded on), and while Charlie and Boone are there, too, Shannon is not. Kate's still a prisoner (though, as the Comic-Con footage showed, she didn't kill her stepfather), and now that she's in L.A., she carjacks a cab - with Claire inside! It will be interesting to see whether the crash was actually the better option for the characters. (Well, except for Boone. And Shannon. And anyone who died, really.) As long as there's some kind of plan for the two time lines to converge, or at least influence and be by each other, I'll be happy; if they simply run parallel with no intersection, then it will just seem lazy.
Meanwhile, Lost hasn't just abandoned all of its old stories. We get to see the aftermath of the bomb, and how Richard and Ben react to finding out that Locke is not really Locke, but the mysterious man in black from the Season 5 finale. This gives Terry O'Quinn some great material - he does evil very well - and it reveals that the man in black is actually the personification of the smoke monster. (I loved the exchange between Ben and NotLocke: "You're the monster." "Let's not resort to name-calling.") While there's still no reveal as to why Richard doesn't age, we do see that he's terrified of NotLocke, and that the last time NotLocke saw Richard, he was "in chains." (On the Black Rock, maybe?) But even though we still get to see original Locke in the new time line, I hope we get to see him on the island time line, too - it just seems too sad for him to go out the way he did. (NotLocke revealing that Locke's last thought was "I don't understand" just broke my heart.)
My only problem with the island storyline was the second death of Juliet. I know they brought back Elizabeth Mitchell because she was so beloved, but her death at the end of Season 5 was perfect and I thought her surviving the bomb, only to die in Sawyer's arms, dragged it out too long. (Of course, Juliet tells Sawyer that "it worked" and then she makes a comment about them meeting for coffee, so Mitchell's appearance at least suggested that the time lines have some connection to each other.)
So after Jacob's ghost appears to Hurley, he, Kate, Jack, Sawyer and Miles take Sayid's dying body to the temple - where there are Others. Other Others. Cindy and the missing children are a part of them, and they take Sayid's body inside the temple and into a spring to, they hope, save his life. But it doesn't work and Sayid dies (or DOES HE?!), and soon that's all forgotten, because when the Other Others find out that Jacob is dead, they start freaking out, knowing NotLocke will soon be upon them. But soon that is forgotten, too, as Sayid sits up, apparently not dead after all. Or IS IT Sayid?! (A popular theory is that Jacob is now reincarnated in Sayid's body - and unlike Locke's sad death, I wouldn't be that gutted if the character of Sayid is gone, replaced by Jacob-in-Sayid's Body. I love Naveen Andrews, but he'll still be around, while Sayid the character seems to have run his course.)
A fantastic premiere that ensured I'll be tuning in every week - even with only one or two questions answered (what happened when the bomb went off and whether the man in black was also the smoke monster), it was a very satisfying episode that proves that Lindelof and Cuse aren't pulling any punches in the final season. Here's a great Q&A with Lindelof and Cuse where they talk about where Season 6 is going.
What did you guys think of the Lost premiere?
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Posted
Feb 02 2010, 02:07 PM
by
KATV
with no comments
Well, that was one boring episode of The Bachelor - and considering this is Jake we're talking about, that's really saying something.
Now that the road trip is over (thank goodness) and everyone's in San Francisco, it's one-on-one dates for everybody! Well, almost everybody. Because four boring dates is fine; five would be too much. (Actually, I don't know why I'm complaining about that.)
Date No. 1 went to Tenley, and wow, having several segments focusing on Tenley makes it really obvious that she has the most annoying, squeaky voice in the history of the world. I can't even tell you whether I like her or not, because she's so bubbly and so high-pitched that I had to look away. It's no longer surprising that Tenley played Disney princesses, because I think she secretly is one. "High"lights of the date included Jake saying that San Francisco's Chinatown was like being in a foreign country (does he listen to himself when he talks?) and Tenley sneaking "Kiss me!" fortunes into fortune cookies. But her cunning plan worked, because she and Jake made out for, like, THREE HOURS, and please kill me because the sound people recording every disgusting smack of the lips. Blech. Oh, by the way, guys, did you know that Tenley's divorced? And that her husband cheated on her? And that she's only slept with that one guy? Maybe they should mention it EVERY TWO SECONDS.
Then there's the two-on-one date, except it's even lamer, because it's not the kind of two-on-one where Jake eliminates one of the girls during the date. Because why keep the only thing that keeps those dates interesting when you can just bore everyone for 20 minutes? After Corrie (who?) fakes everyone out by telling them that Ali and Vienna are going on the date, Vienna and Gia head out to a winery that features a castle. Oh, and first, "Jake" sends them a chest full of clothes, and Vienna talks about how sweet it was of him to do that, as if Jake really had anything to do with it. Does she think Jake actually sets up the tables where they eat dinner? That he's actually friends with the creative director at Style magazine? Moron. This date was chock-full of "What show do you think you're on?" moments, with both Gia and Vienna talking about how hard it is to see him with other girls (Count: 1 and 2), and Vienna continuing to call Jake her boyfriend. Her boyfriend who is dating four other women (Count: 3). Gia and Jake made out a bunch (lay off the lip sounds, show!) and grossed me out like crazy. The three stayed overnight at the winery, with Jake in his own room, and Vienna made herself seem super desperate and inconsiderate (you don't say!) when she "sneaked" into his room to try to make out. Jake, awesomely, told her to get lost. If only he'd do that permanently. (I may not agree with the girls being mean to Vienna, but I still think she sucks.)
Oh, blech, almost forgot: at one point, Vienna said, "I'm my daddy's princess, and now I'm Jake's queen." THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SAY, even ironically. Have I mentioned that I hate everyone on this show?
Date No. 3 finally went to Corrie (who?), and this is when we find out that Corrie is saving herself for marriage. And if you couldn't figure it out already, this is when you should have known she was a goner. Because no matter how much Jake says he respects her beliefs, there is no Bachelor or Bachelorette who is going to get engaged on this show without "sampling the merchandise," as it were. And nobody wants to deflower someone on national television, especially if there's a good shot the newly-devirginized person is going to get dumped later. And geez, could Corrie have worse chemistry with Jake? (Well, nobody has good chemistry with Jake -- it's like flirting with a plastic bag -- but Corrie was extra bad.)
Finally, Ali got the last one-on-one date, and since she's from San Francisco, she showed him to all his favourite spots. Now, remember last week, when Ali was all pissed that Vienna was still there, and Ali vowed to scold Jake about his choices? What big promises, and what little follow-through. Jake confronted her about hating Vienna, and Ali was all, "Uh... Yeah, I'm totally over it now! For realsies!" Wow, way to tell him, Ali. You are a force to be reckoned with. Oh, and Ali? Straddling a dude in a public park is really not cool. I've had to see that in real life, and ugh, uncomfortable.
Bored yet? Yeah. Now imagine watching the whole thing.
The Rose Ceremony went as expected: Tenley, Ali, Gia and Vienna get roses, and Corrie (who?) gets dumped. Shocker. Corrie is completely hammered in the limo, which is hilarious, and she's ranting about how she just doesn't get why it didn't work out. Because Jake didn't want your first time to be on TV, especially since he didn't like you that much anyway. She says she doesn't do well when dating a guy who is simultaneously dating other women. "What show do you think you're on?" Count: 4.
Next week: hometown dates! Awkward conversations with family! And, for the FIRST TIME EVER, there's no Rose Ceremony. Or something. I guarantee it will be less exciting than it sounds, and it sounds pretty dull.
Bachelorette I Love (This Week): I still know nothing about Corrie, but her drunken limo interview was awesome. Keep shlurring thosh wordsh, Corrie.
Bachelorette I Hate (This Week): Ali toned down her Bitchelorette attitude this week, which highlighted just how annoying Vienna really is. JAKE IS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND, VIENNA. Good lord.
What did you guys think?
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Posted
Feb 01 2010, 04:18 PM
by
KATV
with no comments
-- I thought Shonda Rhimes already confirmed this, but good, she's doing it again: on Grey's Anatomy, Derek and Meredith are never breaking up ever again, ever. Now, if only they'd get rid of Katherine Heigl for good.
-- I am so, so psyched that Parks and Recreation is getting a third season, because I need Ron F*cking Swanson on my television. It's bad enough that the show is only on once a week. However, I'm not sure how I feel about the news that Andy Samberg is going to guest star...
-- This article posits that shows like Teen Mom actually make young girls want to get pregnant. Anybody who watches Teen Mom and comes away thinking, "Wow, having a baby in my teens is a totally fun thing that I would like to do" is clearly missing the point. Hell, it makes me want to get my tubes tied.
-- As a stand-up comedy fan, I love me some Jim Gaffigan, so I love The Onion AV Club even more than I already do for interviewing him.
-- Glee is apparently making Fox a lot of money. Shocker.
-- What did you guys think of the Dollhouse finale? I thought it was good, though it felt a little rushed. (I know Topher is crazy smart, but every time he needs to invent some incredibly complicated device, he manages to do it in about five minutes. Not that realism is what Dollhouse really goes for, but come on.) I did tear up at Topher's death, I was happy to see Priya and Tony get together, and it would good to see Bennett and Alpha come back (however briefly) but I honestly didn't care about Paul's sudden death or his "reunion" with Echo at the end. I don't know if it was the writing or if it was Tahmoh Penikett's acting, but the Echo/Paul relationship was never Dollhouse's strong point. Anyway, here's a good breakdown of the finale.
-- No more talk of the Jay/Conan fiasco, I promise, but here's a clip from back when Conan hosted Late Night that made me snort with laughter in the office today:
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