I stopped watching the US version of Life on Mars after a few episodes, but I tuned in to last night's finale to see how the American ending would compare to the British one. And wow, the ending was so mind-bogglingly bad that I can't imagine how pissed off I'd feel if I had actually been a dedicated fan.

To summarize the show: Sam Tyler had spent the whole series as a 2008 cop who was hit by a car and woke up in 1973, and was unsure whether or not he was in a coma in 2008 having a dream about 1973 or if something else was going on.

So what happened? You might want to sit down for this.

Sam is actually from 2035, and he is an astronaut on a spaceship GOING TO MARS. All of the astronauts on the ship (and yes, they are played by the same cast members from the show, but with different hairstyles and/or mustaches) have been put into hypersleep, with the computer putting "neuro-simulations" of the astronauts' choosing into their heads. Sam chose to be a 2008 cop, but there was a glitch in the programming, and the 2008 character he wanted to be was instead put into 1973. But now he's awake on a spaceship GOING TO MAAAAARS and everything is fine.

Really. REALLY.

What this means is that everything we saw before the last seven minutes or so of the series NEVER HAPPENED. Again, I didn't watch the show, but what if you'd watched it and had come to care about the characters? The finale had even spent most of the episode nicely wrapping up storylines: Sam told his mom who he is, Annie was promoted to detective and she and Sam kissed, Sam had a vision of him in 2008, reading to an old woman who turns out to be Annie, and he decided he wants to stay in 1973 after all. But hey, it doesn't matter, because whatever decisions he made NEVER REALLY HAPPENED.

It's fine if the events of either 1973 or 2008 weren't real, but to have the entire show not even matter is one giant "eff you!" to the viewers. It might have been an "eff you" to ABC for cancelling the show, but come on, ABC doesn't care. The fans did, and they were the ones watching. The whole thing smells like  "crap, we've been cancelled, so let's just come up with an ending over a night of heavy drinking." (Although Sam's been having hallucinations of the Mars rover throughout the show, apparently, so I'm worried that they planned this ALL ALONG, which is so much worse.) You can't spend months getting your audience invested in your story, only to turn around at the last second and tell them not to care anymore. It's lazy and insulting.

OK, but the ending gets worse. Oh, yes it does.

So the spaceship is on a mission to find out if there ever was LIFE ON MARS (get it???). Now, while Sam had wanted to be a 2008 cop, the dreams every other astronaut had were completely different, so there is no reason that all of the characters should have been in Sam's dream. (This can sort of be explained away by the "computer glitch" thing, but that's basically saying "a wizard did it.") At one point, one of the other astronauts is like, "I don't get it -  why did you want the computer to simulate you being a cop in 2008?", which, one, CLUMSIEST EXPOSITION EVER, and two, GOOD QUESTION. And, of course, Sam doesn't answer.

So THEN they get a video message from ground control, and the guy says, "President Obama really wanted to be here to when you landed, but her father is very sick so she and her sister went to spent time with him."

GROAN.

Then Sam approches the Harvey Keitel astronaut, who, it turns out, is Sam's DAD - whose name is, you guessed it, MAJOR TOM. And Sam's all, "Dad, let's not fight anymore!" Which, I guess, is supposed to show that all the problems Sam had with his no-good 1973 dad (played by Dean Winters) were actually Astronaut Sam's way of dealing with issues with Harvey Dad. But the thing is, 1973 Sam resolved those issues by KILLING HIS DAD, so the explanation doesn't really work.

And the last shot of the series, as the spaceship doors open on Mars, is of a leg and foot, in bell bottoms and a wing-tipped shoe, taking the first step onto Mars.

YES, REALLY.

I can't come up with anything worse than that ending. It puts Dallas to shame. Good news, Patrick Duffy! You're off the hook!

I know a lot of people who were unsatisfied by the British Life on Mars ending, but I really liked it, and, especially after seeing last night's abortion, the British ending seems even more beautiful and well thought out. (I won't spoil the UK ending for people who haven't seen it because, unlike the US version, it's worth it to watch unspoiled.) But this? This was just sad. Granted, the ending was courtesy of the same guys responsible for October Road, so this is probably the best they could do.

Were any of you loyal viewers of the U.S. Life on Mars? How do you feel about the finale?