TV Casualty

• Hidden Gem: My Boys

  Posted Jun 30 2008, 03:04 PM by KATV with 2 comment(s)

  Well, I'm back after an exciting week of sleeping, drinking and watching my DVD sets of The Wire. It was glorious, really. But now, back to work. So have you guys been watching the second season of My Boys? Are you even aware of it? It's one of the few original shows that U.S. network TBS produces and... pretty much the only good one. I'm not sure if this is true for all of Canada, but here in Toronto at least, the TBS affiliate we got was Atlanta. Yeah, I don't know why, either. But then the Atlanta affiliate decided not to be with TBS anymore and turned into Peachtree TV, meaning that we didn't get My Boys anymore. But, awesomely, E! Canada picked up the series, so now we can see it after all on Monday nights! Huzzah! Oh, right, you probably want me to explain what the hell I'm talking about. My Boys follows a girl named PJ who is really into guy things, like poker and sports. She's a Cubs reporter for the Chicago Sun-Times and lives in an unbelievably nice apartment where she and her guy friends - Brendan, Bobby, Kenny, Mike and PJ's brother Andy - all get together and play poker and talk about sports. Now with a premise like that, imagine how funny it would have to be to keep me interested. Not only am I interested, I eagerly await each week's episode - that's how funny My Boys is. Believe it or not, even with sports references - and, even worse, references to the Cubs, of all things - all the characters are surprisingly relatable yet unbelievably hilarious. There are little moments that go by in half a second that will have me giggling for the entire half hour. For instance, on the season finale, PJ had apparently invited one of three potential suitors with her to Italy: her ex-boyfriend, a baseball player for the Cubs or a guy she had gone on a couple of dates with. We didn't find out who it was until this season (it wasn't any of them, which was kind of lame, but whatever). So she's talking to her guy friends about this. Andy: I really thought it was going to be your ex-boyfriend. I bet money on that. PJ: What? Who'd you bet with? Kenny (doing the shifty eyes): Uh, nobody. Also, the show wins many, many points by casting Jim Gaffigan as Andy. I think he's one of the best comedians in North America, and anything that puts him on my television and puts peanut butter in his kids' sandwiches is OK with me. Another great scene from last season came after several episodes of Brendan acting like a douche. He'd been named one of Chicago's sexiest bachelors, which made him turn into one of those guys who wears sunglasses indoors, goes to clubs with his friends and then ditches them and having nothing interesting to say. So the rest of the group stages a douchebag intervention. I can't really write about the scene and do it justice, so instead, just watch (and just hold tight during the intro - the good stuff begins after about 15 seconds): Genius. The bright orange Crocs are a fantastic touch, I think. I do have to admit, though, that the current season so far hasn't been as great as past seasons. (I'm actually not even sure what season we're on, since the first season started two years ago, and then I thought the second season started last summer, but the cast and crew were saying it was just the second part of Season 1, so I guess the current on is the second season and oh dear, I've gone cross-eyed.) Of course, last season (whichever season it was) set the bar pretty high with the douchebag intervention, but this season has been a little lacking in witty banter. I think this is due to fewer scenes of the group playing poker, which is usually when the zingers start flying. Still, this season (WHICHEVER SEASON IT IS) isn't without its charm. Tonight's episode (which I have already seen thanks to my magical, COMPLETELY LEGAL tactics) has an entertaining plot where the guys participate in a Project Runway-style competition to see who can make the best shirt. I'm not going to give too much away, but let's just say that Mike's silver club shirt has a bit of a disturbing - and therefore hilarious - surprise.  PJ is also very likeable - she's definitely not a girly girl, but she's still endearing enough that I can still identify with her. You can see why she likes to hang out with mostly guys, and then you can also understand when she clearly needs a break from them. And, what can I say, I'm a sucker for female characters who are journalists. Which is probably the entire reason the writers made PJ a journalist, so that easily manipulated people like me will be tricked into giving the show a good review. Well, My Boys writers, mission accomplished. Now send me a fruit basket or something. My Boys airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET on E! Canada. Link to this | E-mail this | Digg this | Post to del.icio.us Filed under: e! canada, chicago sun-times, jordana spiro, tbs, cubs, douchebag, project runway, jim gaffigan, douchebag intervention, my boys

• Friday Link Dump: Mad Men, 24, The Colbert Report and more

  Posted Jun 20 2008, 03:31 PM by KATV with no comments

  Friday! Vendredi! Freitag! Sexta-feira! Exclamation points!! Interrobangs?!?! This Friday is even cooler than most of the Fridays that have come before, because I am going on vacation next week. So not only is it a good day for me, it's going to be an excellent week for you guys, who will have much-deserved break from my ridiculosity. Congratulations! Let's get down to it, shall we? -- An interesting look behind-the-scenes of Mad Men, including asking some real-life ad men from the '60s whether or not the show is realistic. The conclusion? Some say yes, some say no. That's some crackerjack reporting, there. -- When 24 returns in 2009, four years will have passed since the colostomy bag they call Season 6. This means that 17 years will have passed since Season 1, when Jack Bauer was 35, so now he's... 52, if you play by the rules of logic and time and space. But this is 24, so of course he'll look the same as he always does: hunkalicious. -- Did you guys see Stephen Colbert grill Cookie Monster about snack foods? If you haven't, you can see part one here and part two here. I'm glad to see that Colbert shares my belief that fruit does not belong in desserts or in snacks. If you're eating it to get healthy, it's not a treat. IT'S THE LAW. -- A fired newscaster is suing her former employers because they forced her to go on Dr. Phil and used her personal life to get ratings. I hate to sound unsympathetic, but there is such a thing as saying no. "But then I'd get fired!" Well, 1) you got fired anyway, and 2) clearly you're familiar with lawsuits, so do the words "unfair dismissal" mean anything to you?  -- Janet Jackson is going to star in her own reality show for MTV. Aw, that's cute. She thinks people care about anything other than her right boob. -- Uma Thurman is going to star in a BBC series with Jonathan Pryce. Is it wrong that I'm more excited about Jonathan Pryce? Brazil was THE BOMB, BITCHES (she said, ensuring any other fans of Brazil  will hate her forever). --  Apparently, if you can attract a million views a month to your YouTube account, you can make several thousand dollars. The trick is figuring out which fluke idea will become popular for no particular reason. -- This isn't really TV-related, but the Onion AV Club has a great look at Troy Duffy's meteoric rise and humiliating fall. Duffy was the guy who wrote Boondock Saints and was heralded as some kind of genius, but he was such an asshole that nobody wanted to work with him ever again. Interesting stuff. -- So, this is it. It's the Camp Rock weekend. Are you ready? ARE YOU? I'm not sure you are. Disney is promoting the shit out of this because they need a way to make money that doesn't involved paying Zac Efron millions and millions of dollars. Oh, yeah, and "teaching our children important life lessons," blah blah blah. Anyway, if you haven't seen my interview with the Jonas Brothers, you can check it out here, and you can also look at my review of Camp Rock itself. Spoiler: it's not very good. And before all you Jonas fans get all huffy about it, the Washington Post doesn't really like it either, and they clearly have more of an influence than I do, so go yell at them instead. Have a good weekend! And a good week next week, too. I'll return on June 30 with plenty of lame jokes.  Link to this | E-mail this | Digg this | Post to del.icio.us Filed under: mtv, abc family, disney, camp rock, jonas brothers, youtube, mad men, brazil, jonathan pryce, family channel, jack bauer, janet jackson, keifer sutherland, onion av club, colbert report, bbc, uma thurman, 24, cookie monster, dr. phil, troy duffy, boondock saints, zac efron

• The Mole: Paul, didn't I tell you to shut up?

  Posted Jun 17 2008, 02:41 PM by KATV with 1 comment(s)

  Remember on How I Met Your Mother when Barney slept with Wendy the waitress and then being at the bar incredibly uncomfortable for everyone? And everyone says, "You're killing the bar, dude." "Stop killing the bar." Paul is killing The Mole, you guys. He is KILLING it. He is killing it so hard that I can't even enjoy saying THE MOOOOOOLE anymore. I continue to watch the show, praying and hoping for the day that Paul scores the lowest on the quiz and is sent home, but until then, Paul is RUINING THE SHOW. He's an obnoxious butt-face who seems to think that going on the show to win money means that you're not allowed to be nice to anyone. When he's angry, he'll yell until he doesn't want to yell anymore, regardless of what's happening. Last night, Nicole apologized to the entire table for threatening Paul during last week's episode, and he yelled at her that she should be apologizing to him. So she apologized to him. "I DON'T WANT YOUR APOLOGY!" Ugh. And ugh. I've already said it, but seriously: ABC, this is NOT fun to watch. You need to get your casting directors in a room and give them a stern talking-to.  So, starting next week, my Mole entries will simply include one sentence at the beginning about whether or not Paul was an ass. Until, of course, he is eliminated from the show, and dear God, please do not let him win this thing. But, amazingly, there was a part of The Mole last night that had nothing to do with Paul but still made me very uncomfortable and unhappy. The group's second challenge involved stealing their clothes, putting them into groups of two or three and forcing them to walk around Santiago in their underwear, begging people to give them clothes, and they couldn't get into their restaurant for dinner until they had the proper attire. There was a group of Victoria, Ali and Kristen, who are all beautiful women, except when forced to walk around in Mole booty shorts and sports bras and their boots, they looked less like Mole players and more like... "hole" players, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. (Yes, I realize that was a lot less clever than it could have been, but I'm nothing if not lazy.) So they had to deal with people whistling and cat-calling them, asking them out on dates, and yes, two huge groups of Catholic schoolboys literally following them around. That's not funny, ABC. It's uncomfortable and disquieting, especially since you specifically put them in that situation and had to know something like that would happen. On the bright side, watching Craig and Bobby walk around in their underwear was pretty amusing - hurray for double standards! - because, as Craig said, they were a walking representation of the number 10. Snerk. And when Bobby asked someone for clothes, she replied that he didn't need clothes, he needed some food. And it's true. Craig, Bobby and Nicole stumbled upon a laudromat that actually had all of their original outfits, and at dinner, Jon Kelley revealed that the card with the restaurant address on it also had the laundromat address in code. Stupid contestants! Be more smarter! At the eliminations, Jon Kelley offered a bribe: $30,000 US to leave the competition. (Well, first he just offered $20,000, but when no one took it, he added more money.) Ali, smart girl that she is, took the money and left. I'm always amazed when a bribe like this is offered on reality shows and all the people hem and haw and then turn it down. GUYS. There is a VERY SMALL CHANCE you will win the entire game. And considering that on The Mole, there is someone whose specific job is to lower how much money the winner will get, why would you not take the bribe? Yes, it's not as much as you would get if you won the show, but it's way more than you would get if you didn't win. And it is far more likely you won't win. It's basic math, people! I'm not even that good at math and I still understand this. Awesomely, Jon Kelley continued with the elimination after Ali left (because if she had stayed, she would have been safe) and revealed that Bobby "the number 1" had the lowest score and was eliminated. BOO because Paul is still around, but YAY because Bobby was kind of a useless whiner. My guess for the mole is still Victoria, with Clay as a backup. Prove me wrong, kids! Prove me wrong.  Link to this | E-mail this | Digg this | Post to del.icio.us Filed under: abc, how i met your mother, citytv, barney, victoria, paul, ali, the mole, jon kelley, nicole, bobby, kristen, craig, wendy the waitress, santiago

• Battlestar Galactica: Well, that was depressing

  Posted Jun 16 2008, 05:10 PM by KATV with no comments

  The mid-season finale of Battlestar Galactica aired last Friday night (because we all know how much TV audiences love it when you break up a season and ruin its momentum) and... man. Don't get me wrong, it was an incredible episode, but it was the first episode this entire season that really felt like Battlestar Galactica. The rest of the Season 4 episodes have been pretty hit-and-miss, and even the hits were fairly meh. I kept waiting for stuff to happen and... nothing really happened. Or one thing happened and then we had to wait two weeks to see the fallout. What, were they taking lessons from Lost? No! Bad Battlestar! But the episode itself? Brilliant. Finally, after years of running away, of fighting to live, of having to balance decisions with what is morally right and what will help everyone survive, of grudges and forgiveness, of pain and suffering... After all of that, the humans and the Cylons agreed to put their past behind them - for the time being, at least - and go to Earth together. Of course, before this happens, D'Anna makes it known that she is not taking any shit from the humans and decides to keep some of them hostage until the final five Cylons reveal themselves and return to the Cylon ship. Tory immediately makes an excuse to go to the Cylon ship, and when she sees Roslin, pretty much tells her to fuck off. Because Tory is going insane and it is scary and awesome. Tigh realizes that the only way to ensure the hostages return is to reveal his secret Cylon identity to Bill Adama - that way, they can threaten to kill Tigh if D'Anna doesn't let the hostages go. Can you even imagine it? Someone you have known more than half of your life - someone you've fought side-by-side with, who knows you better than anyone else does, who you trust with your life and with the lives of others... Imagine that person telling you that they are, in fact, the very enemy you both have been fighting. Everything you know about them is false. Now, we the audience know that everything about Tigh has always been genuine and that he only found out about being a Cylon a few months ago - and even after finding out, he continued to serve the Galactica the best way he could, because that's the man he wanted to be. But all Adama knows is that he's been lied to in the worst possible way. I have to give BG and Edward James Olmos credit for this because Adama LOSES HIS SHIT. I don't mean he gets really angry for a few minutes. I mean he throws things and gets sloppily drunk and has to be nursed by his son and by Laura Roslin. He doesn't even know how to operate. It is the most disturbing and heartbreaking performance I've seen in years. Tigh surrenders himself and outs Tyrol and Anders as the other two Cylons. They all explain that they have no idea who the fifth one is, but they know that something has changed in Starbuck's shiny and impossibly new Viper, and when Starbuck checks it out, she realizes that it somehow has found the coordinates for Earth. Lee and D'Anna have a heart-to-heart about God and fate, and they both realize that they can either agree to forgive and try to make a future together, as allies, or they can continue killing each other until everyone is dead. So, as tentative as it may be, an alliance is formed between the humans and the Cylons. And they go to Earth. Adama gets to deliver a momentous speech about everything they have all gone through, everything they've hoped for and forgotten, everything they've lost and cried over, and everything they will always remember - and how all of that has now led them to Earth. To their home. We get to see the expressions of pure joy on the faces of everyone on Galactica and in the entire fleet, finally letting go of their pain and suffering and enjoying their successes and triumph. And they all travel down to Earth's surface to find... that it's a barren wasteland. It's bleak and covered with crumbling ruins. They all realize that there was a reason why their ancestors left Earth in the first place and that the answers and the hope they were looking for is not going to be found on their home planet. Wackity shmackity dooo! Edit: I have been informed that I am mistaken about Earth and that it is not where the humans in BG come from and that Cobol is actually their home planet. My bad.  And we have to wait until 2009 to find out how they're gonna get themselves out of this dilly of a pickle. Thanks a lot, Sci Fi Network. Jerks.   Link to this | E-mail this | Digg this | Post to del.icio.us Filed under: Lost, space, battlestar galactica, laura roslin, mary mcdonnell, katee sackhoff, starbuck, sci fi network, roslin, cylons, tory, jamie bamber, edwards james olmos, lucy lawless, william adama, lee adama, tyrol, d'anna, tigh, saul tigh, anders, kara thrace

• Friday Link Dump: A new Office for Rashida? Also: Frakkin' BG, Potential Bachelor Heartbreak and more

  Posted Jun 13 2008, 03:18 PM by KATV with no comments

  Welcome to Friday! It seems like just yesterday I was in New York City interviewing the Jonas Brothers. Oh, wait. That was yesterday. This has nothing to do with the post, I just wanted to brag that I got to go to New York instead of going to work. I am very popular, why do you ask? So, since I haven't really watched any television in the last two days - you know, due to me going to New York City and interviewing the Jonas Brothers and seeing the Camp Rock premiere (it was deliciously awful) - it seems that the Friday Link Dump couldn't have come at a better time. Let's get started, shall we? -- Rumours are a'swirling that Rashida Jones will be reprising her role as Karen on the new Office spinoff... And then other rumours are saying that it's not true. So she maybe-maybe-not-but-possibly-but-who-knows will be doing it. However, they have cast at least one person, the hilarious Aziz Ansari from MTV's Human Giant, which is good, because HG was great and that show was wasted on MTV. -- In an expected-but-disappointing movie, the Sci Fi Network announced that the last half of Battlestar Galactica won't be airing until 2009. I'm going to forgo the obvious "Frak!" joke and use my personal favourite: KHAN! --  So Matt, the British Bachelor, has moved out of fiancée Shayne Lamas's apartment, though he says they're still engaged and in love. “It’s almost to keep the spark — the romance — that exists in the first year of a relationship. Living together after knowing one another after four months is probably a little bit quick," he said. I've mentioned that they're ENGAGED to be MARRIED, right? Jesus. -- The first two people were kicked off So You Think You Can Dance last night. I didn't see it - as I mentioned, I was in New York City interviewing the Jonas Brothers - but I think that girl deserved to be eliminated for that outfit alone. --  Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip's Sarah Paulson has been cast in the ABC do-over of Cupid, which is annoying, because she looks like a duck and has an annoying almost-lisp. Also, she's on par with her Cupid 1.0 counterpart, Paula Marshall, in her show-killing abilities. She's got some bad voodoo. Who do? She do the voodoo. -- Jamie Kennedy is going to be on Ghost Whisperer next season. Him, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Camryn Manheim and Jay Mohr - are the producers trying to make me not watch the show? Because they really don't have to go to all this effort. --  EW has an interesting piece about minorities on television, pointing out that Cleveland (from Family Guy and is getting his own spinoff this fall) is the only minority character to anchor a new series, and his voice is provided by a white guy. Grumbles. -- And just in case you weren't angry enough yet and haven't heard about this, well, it's time to get angry: Fox News referred to Michelle Obama as Barack's "Baby Mama." Get it? Because they're black? Ugh. I am an anger-ball. To help calm all of us down a little, I'll finish this entry up with a music video. It's a song called "We Rock" that is in a little movie called Camp Rock, which, in case you weren't aware, I saw this week when I was in New York interviewing the Jonas Brothers. Incidentally, I have also decided to never have children, and to especially never have girls. My eardrums can't take it. Have a good weekend! Link to this | E-mail this | Digg this | Post to del.icio.us Filed under: battlestar galactica, the bachelor, aziz ansari, rashida jones, camp rock, jonas brothers, the office, human giant, matt grant, shayne lamas, so you think you can dance, paula marshall, jennifer love hewitt, cleveland, fox news, sarah paulson, camryn manheim, studio 60 on the sunset strip, family guy, ghost whisperer, cupid, jay mohr, michelle obama, barack obama, jamie kennedy

• The Mole: Shut up, Paul

  Posted Jun 10 2008, 04:40 PM by KATV with no comments

  Can anyone tell me why casting directors think viewers want to see horrible bullies treat other people badly? Is this a demographic I'm not aware of? I realize that when casting directors are looking for people to cast in a reality show, they want people who will bring in some conflict and drama, but do the producers show up and say, "Okay, so now we need an absolute douchebag who will make this show unpleasant to watch"? Which is all just a roundabout way of saying: Shut up, Paul. Last night's episode of THE MOOOOOOLE was yet another letdown, seeing as Paul thinks it's okay to verbally abuse the other players and then continue yelling if anyone tries to ask him to stop. I don't want to watch people be horrible to each other! I want to watch people solve a MYSTERY. Together. Using cooperation. Cooperation makes it happen. The first task involved two of the players trying to get to the top of a giant hill using a tandem bicycle (which kept breaking, so they players walked) before the rest of the group could get to the top of the hill using the gondola. Except that they couldn't get onto the gondola until they scored one goal against a kids' soccer team, and even then, they had to walk to the gondola station. If the gondola group got to the top first, $35,000 was added to the pot, but if the group of two got there first, no money was added but the two people would get an exemption from this week's quiz. Paul and Bobby are among those on the gondola team, and Paul immediately begins berating Paul for being useless, which... he kind of is, but badgering him about it clearly isn't having any positive effects. (Seriously, though, it's like Bobby can't even walk for more than ten minutes at a time - surely this is a medical condition of some kind? Shouldn't a doctor be called?) And anyway, Paul was pretty terrible, too - at one point he actually had to lie down on the field because he was so tired. Aw. So the gondola team sucks enough that the bicycle team beats them to the top. Which is completely stupid of the bicycle team. Yes, you have an exemption, but the odds of you getting eliminated that night were very, very slim, and now you've kept $35,000 from the pot, so even if you do win the game, it will be $35,000 less than it could have been. Well done. Challenge 2: In three teams, race into town and find as many little clay pigs (with Mole fingerprints on the bottom) as possible, to a maximum of 50. Bring each of them back and then, using a big slingshot, catapult each pig into an arena, where two players must catch each pig in a blanket. Each pig safely caught is worth $1,000, and they only have as long as it takes for a local artist to make 12 clay pigs, which is about an hour. Paul stays behind in the arena as one of the pig-catchers, and he is sly enough to break open one of the pigs to find an exemption chip. KHAN! You'd better screw up next week, pal, or I'm going to wear out the mute button on my remote. Bobby, as always, can't walk for more than five minutes, so he actually gets in the wheelbarrow while Kristen pushes him. There was a brilliant shot of  Kristen pushing Bobby in the wheelbarrow, followed by Craig jogging and wheezing a few seconds behind them. Even once they got to town, Bobby just sat in the wheelbarrow. Later on, Paul continued to be a misogynistic douchebag by saying (repeatedly) that it was "disgusting" how Bobby sat in a wheelchair while a woman pushed him around. Gosh, not a woman! Why, what was she even doing out of the kitchen? Seriously, Paul is making this show not good. I don't need forced drama to enjoy THE MOOOOOOLE. It's ALREADY IN THE GAME. Gah. I do have to admit, though, that Bobby seems really self-righteous and condescending for a guy who sat in a wheelbarrow all day. If you're going to complain about people in the game, maybe you should not suck so hard at it. However, Paul, if you're reading this: I still don't like you and I wish you weren't on my television. Also, you're a sexist butt.  Possible Mole Clues: - When Jon Kelley was passing out the special Mole soccer jerseys, he threw the first one to Victoria. - However, Clay was wearing the jersey with the #11 on it, which, if you'll remember, was the same number as was on the journal that Jon Kelley held up last week.  Yeah, I'm still going with Victoria for my pick as The Mole. Now if only she'd grow out her bangs.   Link to this | E-mail this | Digg this | Post to del.icio.us Filed under: abc, victoria, paul, the mole, jon kelley, bobby, kristen, clay, craig

• Living Lohan: Because who needs self-awareness, really?

  Posted Jun 09 2008, 02:51 PM by KATV with 1 comment(s)

  Living Lohan really is the saddest show I've ever seen. I don't even experience any schadenfreude when I watch it because I know that not only will Dina Lohan never take a long, hard look at her life and realize what a horrible human being she is, but Ali Lohan will never realize how misguided her thirst for fame is. Why? Because Dina isn't raising a daughter who displays any kind of self-awareness. Yes, most 14-year-olds are unable to examine themselves with any kind of objectivity, but most people grow out of it when they see how the real world works or after they've had a few life experiences. Do you think Ali has any chance at that? Especially when the main person responsible for raising her is actually encouraging her to create a life based on superficiality? I know, I know, it's just a reality show, but I honestly just feel so sad for Ali. Spoilers ahead - don't read if you don't want details on tonight's episode. Since Living Lohan airs on Sunday nights in the U.S. but on Monday nights here in Canada, some clips of tonight's episode are already on the magnificent interwebs. First, we have the clip of Dina putting on a fake interview with Ali, so the latter can prepare herself for when Access Hollywood comes over. Because you really have to be careful with those Access Hollywood reporters - they are the best that American journalism has to offer. So first, Dina explains that she's going to ask Ali all the hard questions and that she's not going to be nice about it. If you really wanted to prepare her, Dina, your first question would be, "Why are you trying to emulate your sister when she has proven herself, time and time again, that she has no range, no sense of responsibility, and expects the world to revolve her and her various dysfunctions?" But no, Dina's hard question is "How do you feel when the tabloids ridicule your sister?" Ali: "I feel angry because most of it isn't true." Yes, honey, just keep telling yourself that. Heaven forbid you think about the painful consequences of becoming rich and powerful too young. Dina: "Do you feel pressure to live up to your sister's success?" Proper answer: "Not really. How hard can it be to buy some leggings, flash my cooter and make out with a mediocre DJ?" Ali: "Well,  they would always say, like, 'Oh, you're Lindsay Lohan's little sister,' but now they say 'Ali Lohan,' so I think that's a pretty big privilege to have." That's right. Ali Lohan thinks it's a big privilege to have people refer to her BY HER OWN NAME. How can Dina not see anything wrong with putting her 14-year-old daughter into a business where she grows up thinking it's a big deal to have people use her real name? All she's learning is that she has to do whatever it takes to be famous. SHE IS FOURTEEN. Sorry. Deep breaths. Oof. So the mock interview goes on, with Dina asking Ali who her inspiration is - like, wow, you're really ASKING THE HARD QUESTIONS, THERE - and then sniping at her daughter for speaking with her hand in front of her mouth and then when Ali sasses back, telling her she can't act that way in interviews. Which, while technically true, is clearly missing the point that an interviewer wouldn't say, "Sit up straight, move your hand, act like a lady." Dina's classy, classy mock interview ends with "Is it true that Lindsay doesn't have water in her water bottles?" while Ali looks very confused. Clip number two feature Dina finding out that Ali is being teased at school. Well, obviously. So Dina does the responsible thing - she pulls Ali out of school for a couple of days. What better way to teach your kid about overcoming adversity than to show her that when things get tough, you can always just avoid everything until someone else fixes it for you. Well done. (I'm in no way suggesting that bullying is easy to deal with, but in the long run, it's better to deal with it then and learn from it. Even in the short run, does Dina think Ali will be picked on less if her reaction to it is to leave school for a couple of days? Oh, yeah, the kids wouldn't latch onto that at all.) And then Dina goes on and on about the incident, calling it Mean Girls 2. I'm not entirely sure Dina has actually watched Mean Girls, because if she had, she would have seen Amy Poehler's character, the wannabe cool mom who is so concerned with being friends with her daughters that she doesn't raise them. And clearly, if Dina Lohan had seen those scenes, she would have realized that she has similar problems with her daughters and would have changed the way she parents. Seeing as Dina Lohan is still the irresponsible famewhore of a mother she's always been, I can only assume that she has never actually seen Mean Girls, because surely there is no way she could have watched those scenes and taken absolutely nothing away from it, right? Right? Sigh. I need a drink.  Link to this | E-mail this | Digg this | Post to del.icio.us Filed under: access hollywood, lindsay lohan, ali lohan, e! canada, dina lohan, living lohan, mean girls

• Friday Link Dump: Buffy, The A-List Awards and Shatner

  Posted Jun 06 2008, 04:59 PM by KATV with no comments

  I'm really liking this Friday link dump idea, so I think I'm going to continue doing it. And there's nothing you can do to stop me. MUA HA HA HA! Ahem. Aaaanyway... -- A three-day academic conference about Buffy the Vampire Slayer is happening this weekend at Henderson State University in Arkansas. Man, I wish I could be there for the discussion about "Hero's Journey, Heroine's Return: Buffy, Eurydice and the Orpheus Myth." -- The wonderful, delightful William Shatner watched Star Trek for the first time in years and thought, "You know, that's rather good." You know what else is rather good? His cover of "Common People." It is a favourite around the Dose offices. -- I'm not much of a sports person - actually, I am about as far from being a sports person as one could possibly be - but I thought this article about why athletes have trouble with money was pretty interesting.  --  In case you needed another reason to hate Hulk Hogan, he is helping other has-beens like Danny Bonaduce and Dustin Diamond prolong their already-quite-dead careers by putting them on his new show, Celebrity Championship Wrestling. Seriously. That's going to be a show. -- In other "desperately clinging to a career that's long dead" news, Jenna "Dharma" Elfman is going to appear on My Name Is Earl next season. What is with that show? Paris Hilton and now Jenna Elfman? Does they want me to stop watching? -- I'm a little in love with the New York Daily News for describing Bravo's A-List Awards as "where fame goes to die." -- How does NBC, which is fourth in US ratings, earn more advertising dollars than any other network? Do advertisers not understand math?  -- John Stamos has a couple of TV movies lined up. This is all really just an excuse for me to say: STAMOS!   -- Cybil Shepherd has declined the offer to join the next season of Dancing with the Stars, which is probably a good thing for her potential dance partners. And the other stars. And the crew. And the studio audience. And anyone who owns a television. -- Pamela Anderson is going to start filming a reality show for E!, except she doesn't want to call it a "reality show." Hey, a stenchblossom by any other name... -- Samuel L. Jackson has signed a deal to produce a new show - except that he won't be starring in it. Motherfucker.  --  Dennis Hopper has joined the cast of the upcoming Crash series, based on the horrible movie that, for some God-forsaken reason, won the Oscar for Best Picture. Seriously, I hate that movie. I hate it enough that my opinion of Dennis Hopper has now gone down. Have a good weekend! Go out to a biker bar and pick up a guy named Maggot.   Link to this | E-mail this | Digg this | Post to del.icio.us Filed under: NBC, buffy the vampire slayer, dennis hopper, william shatner, common people, hulk hogan, jenna elfman, john stamos, dustin diamond, celebrity champisonship wrestling, danny bonaduce, star trek, cybil shepherd, a-list awards, crash, pamela anderson, my name is earl, dancing with the stars, paris hilton, samuel l. jackson

• Who is the Mole? Who is it? WHO IS IT?!

  Posted Jun 03 2008, 03:43 PM by KATV with no comments

  I have no idea. What I do know is that Jon Kelley's voice is way too cheesy for this show. He is apparently a reporter on Extra or Access Hollywood or something. Yeah, "reporter." He's a reporter in the same way I'm a reporter. As in, only in the loosest of all loose definitions of the word, and even then only so he'll have money for whores. Also, whoever is doing the music and editing for The Mole is really, really trying too hard. Guys: it is very, very easy to make The Mole cheesy and lame. The key is having a wry host who mocks the contestants when they fail. This is why Anderson Cooper was so awesome and why I still harbour a deep, deep grudge against CNN, who hired him on the condition that he would never host The Mole ever again. KHAN! So back off on the dramatic music and tell Jon Kelley not to look so rehearsed. But he's still better than Ahmad Rashad, I will admit. So... The Mole is back! The Mole! I was so excited all last week that The Mole was returning. It's come to the point where every time I say the name of the show, I say it like this: "THE MOOOOOOLE!" Even when it breaks up the flow of the sentence. Boyfriend: I don't want to watch The Mole. Kat: You don't have to watch THE MOOOOOOOLE if you don't want to. You can go read a book while I watch THE MOOOOOOOLE by myself. Boyfriend: But I still have to date you, right? Kat: Yes. Boyfriend: Dammit. For all newcomers to THE MOOOOOOOLE (OK, I promise I'll stop now), the game works like this: the entire group must complete different tasks together, and each task completed successfully puts money into the pot. However, there is one player who is secretly the mole, who is purposely sabotaging the group in order to make them win less money. At the end of each episode, each of the players take a quiz about the mole, with some more general questions ("Was the mole in the group who slept inside or the group who slept outside?") and some a little more specific ("Who is the mole?"). The players aren't shown their scores on the quiz, but the person who scored the lowest is eliminated from the game. Once there are three players left (the mole plus two others), there is one final quiz, and whoever scored the best wins all the money in the pot. The mole will reveal himself or herself, and the third person will feel like a schmuck. Also, the show plants clues throughout the episodes so viewers can try to figure out who the mole is as well. The part I like most about the show is that the best strategy is to try to make people think you are the mole, since then, obviously, they'll do badly on the quiz and be eliminated. So each player has to strike a balance between screwing up enough that people think you're the mole, but not so much that you don't win any money. I love me some intelligent strategery. Thoughts from the premiere episode: When Jon Kelley held up one of the special Mole diaries that they give to players, it had the number 11 on it, which may indicate how many letters are in that person's name or the month they were born or something. Victoria's helmet had a thumbprint on it and no one else's did, and I really hope that doesn't mean she's the mole because that is way to freaking obvious. I remember in the second season of The Mole, during the credits there were a bunch of words that quickly flew by behind the show logo, but if you paused it, you could clearly see "Bill is The Mole" written. And this was during episode 6 or something ridiculous. Whoever was recapping the show at Television Without Pity pointed out that if someone bought you a present and you asked for a hint to what it was, if they replied "It's a shirt!" that that would be a pretty shitty clue. Same deal. This is my long-winded way of saying Victoria better not be the mole. However, I am worried that she might be the mole, since when I went through the cast, I immediately eliminated anyone who seemed too obvious to be the mole. Then I got rid of all the people who were so obviously not the mole that they might be the mole. Out of the people who were left, Victoria seemed like the most obvious choice for a not-obvious mole. Uh oh, I've gone cross-eyed. Nicole is very annoying and is clearly meant to the the one we love to hate. When she was voted the "biggest whiner" of the group, she made some comment about how there's nothing wrong with being smart and gorgeous, which is true, but really has nothing to do with what a whiner she is. And, come to think of it, really has nothing to do with her at all. So far, this cast seems a little obnoxious and overly dramatic for annoying reasons, and I really hope The Mole's casting director didn't go to the Big Brother School of Casting Reality Shows. What was great about the first two seasons of The Mole was that all the contestants seemed fairly sweet and normal - the drama was created by the circumstances of the show itself, not because the contestants got into finger-waving fights with each other. It's only been one episode, though, so I will see how I feel about everyone next week. How about you guys? Any other possible clues you noticed? Any theories on who the mole is?   Link to this | E-mail this | Digg this | Post to del.icio.us Filed under: big brother, abc, global, victoria, the mole, anderson cooper, ahmad rashad, cnn, extra, jon kelley, global tv, access hollywood, nicole

• Lost: Last love song for now

  Posted Jun 02 2008, 02:26 PM by KATV with no comments

  God, so much crap happened on last Thursday's season finale of Lost that I barely even know where to start. So, weirdly enough, we flashback to last season's flashforward (if that makes any sense) where Jack and Kate were all crying at the airport and Jack was all, "WE HAVE TO GO BAAAAAACK!" and his beard was ridiculous and took up 75% of the screen. But this time the scene continues with Kate stopping her car and getting out and yelling at Jack some more and it was kind of boring because there was enough "Kate and Jack loooove each other" subtext that it pretty much became just text. And, in case you didn't know by now, I think Jack and Kate's relationship is boring. Well, really, I think Kate's relationship with anyone is boring.  So, as quick a recap as I can manage of what happened back on the island (and in the ocean surrounding the island):  The big bomb on the boat is set up to Macho Soldier Guy's arm, so the boat will explode is MSG dies The Others kill most of the soldier guys (except MSG) and Ben goes back to the Orchid station and helps out John, while Hurley leave with Jack and Sawyer to get on the helicopter with Kate, Sayid and the pilot guy, whose name escapes me Back at the beach, Charlotte and Miles decide to stay on the island (plenty of hints are dropped that Charlotte was born on the island) while Daniel decides to leave on the dinghy All the helicopter people take off and fly to the boat - but not before they start losing fuel, so Sawyer bails out to save the others, but not before he whispers sweet nothings into Kate's ear The helicopter people make it to the boat, and they get Sun and Desmond, but they have to duct-tape the hole in the fuel tank and quickly take off before the boat explodes Except that Jin doesn't make it to helicopter and apparently dies (which means he totally survived somehow). Michael also dies on the boat, after Christian Shephard magically appears and says "You can go now, Michael" Ben blows up a time machine (I think) and then goes through the hole in the back of it to a secret, icy room with a big machine of some kind. He turns a big wheel, which magically moves the island - and, I think, the people who were in the dinghy, but NOT the people in the helicopter Locke returns to the Others to become their new KING OF UNDERPANTS or something The people in the helicopter crash into the ocean, but everyone survives with no injuries and they start floating in the emergency raft Then PENNY! picks them up in her boat! Yeah, that last thing was the best part of the entire two hours. She and Desmond got back together and hugged and kissed and cried and it was beautiful. Remember when Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse kept bullshitting in the press about how the Lost audience didn't really care about the mysteries - it was the character stories that kept people coming back? Well, the Desmond-Penny storyline is one of the few character plots that actually keeps my interest just as much, if not more, than the mystery plots. Their heartfelt phone call from earlier in the season was, in my opinion, the best moment in the entire season, which serves as proof that if the writers reeeeally concentrate, they can make their non-mystery parts great. Of course, this depends on creating characters who don't annoy the fuck out of me, so they've already screwed the pooch regarding Kate and Jack. (Sawyer I like, but usually only when he's Kateless.) So Jack and his rag-tag group of ruffians all decide that they're going to have to lie about what happened to them because... This isn't really explained very well. Because Widmore will try to find the island? And hurt them? So they lie and said they were never on the island. Except that Widmore already knows what happened. And he knows they're lying. So why doesn't he kill them? No idea. But whatever.  So, in more bullet points, here is what happened in the WOOOOORLD OF TOMOROOOOOOW: Sayid kills a guy parked outside of the mental institution, then goes inside and tells Hurley they need to go somewhere safe because Jeremy Bentham has died, so Hurley goes with him after clarifying that they're just going somewhere safe, not back to the island Kate has a dream that she gets a weird phone call (it's apparently the island saying "the island needs you" backwards) and goes into Aaron's room, and Claire is there saying "Don't bring him back to the island" and then Kate wakes up, and PHEW! It was all a dream and it's probably nothing she really needs to worry about, like if she had dreamt she was walking on a giant marshmallow Sun approached Widmore and tells him that they have common interests and should talk - but not now, of course, because that would move the plot along too quickly Jack goes back to the funeral parlour and opens the casket to look at Jeremy Bentham, but we don't yet see his face. Ben shows up and Jack tells him that "Jeremy" showed up a little while ago and told Jack that a lot of bad things happened after he left and that it was ALL JACK'S FAULT and that's why Jack is now a pussy. Ben tells Jack that if he wants to go back to island, EVERYONE has to go back, including the dude in the casket, who turns out to be... JOHN LOCKE. DUN DUN DUNNN. And that's all we get until 2009. Good thing everything was wrapped up in a neat little package, huh? I'll say that this past season of Lost has been much better than seasons two and three were, but cynical me thinks that it's mostly due to the writers strike forcing the writers to condense their storylines. As it is, it seems as though everything happened at an appropriate speed, meaning that if Lindelof and Cuse had their way, things would have dragged. One thing I am disappointed got left out was the backstories of Charlotte, Daniel, Miles and Pilot Guy (Jeff? I can't remember and can't be arsed to look it up on IMDB). OK, that's actually four things, but you get my drift. Miles especially, since Ken Leung is so delightful and plays him with the perfect amount of assitude that it makes him funny. They've tried to make Charlotte more interesting with her "I'm looking for the place I was born" storyline, but really, if they never went back to that, I probably wouldn't miss it. Make it the MILES SHOW! Do I smell a spinoff? Miles and his various wacky ghost sidekicks! I would totally watch that. A lot of people have, understandably, been speculating on what the eff is going on with Locke being dead and having a different name, but honestly, they gave us so little information on that front that almost any theory could be correct. The island showed up in a MAGICAL LAND OF BUNNIES and Locke HATES bunnies. And then when he got back to the real world, one of the magical bunnies showed up and shot him in the face. It could happen. We'll have to wait until 2009 to find out.   Link to this | E-mail this | Digg this | Post to del.icio.us Filed under: hurley, Lost, miles, sayid, damon lindelof, abc, sawyer, michael, claire, penelope, desmond, aaron, jack shephard, carlton cuse, ctv, john locke, widmore, charlotte, daniel, kate austin, jin, sun, benjamin linus