Scandal Sheet

It's New Moon day! It's New Moon day!

KATV — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:59:00 GMT

- Have you already seen New Moon seven times today? If you haven't, clearly you just don't care. Or have a job. Or you're an adult. But hey, the midnight showings alone made $26.3million US , so it's probably going to make about forty gabazajillion dollars this weekend. (Oh, sorry, Catholics, but the Vatican doesn't like New Moon.)

- Not only does Miley Cyrus dislike Twilight, but she also dressed up as a prostitute for her 17th birthday party. So clearly her judgment isn't the best.

- Jude Law's ex, Sadie Frost, is writing a tell-all book about their former relationship. Was anyone really clamouring for such a book?

- A flight attendant is suing Jennifer Lopez after the attendant was allegeldy attacked by J. Lo's dog because she was "carrying silverware." Wow, even Lopez' dog is a diva.

- Is Robert Downey, Jr. going to retire from acting? But then I'll have to resort to stalking in order to see him, and my lawyer says I can't do that anymore without violating my parole.

-Poor Dawson Leery: first Joey dumps him for Pacey, and now he's officially getting divorced.

- Kim Kardashian denies that she's had plastic surgery. Yes, she actually said this, out loud, to people who can see her.

- More proof of why Tina Fey should be my best friend: we make fun of our bosses with reckless abandon. (Uh, I mean, no, I don't - especially not behind your back!)

- The Saved by the Bell reunion is cancelled. Man, now I'm going to have to live my own life.

- There's a lot of of really good buzz around the midseason show Life UneXpected (I hate the capital X in the title, but whatevs), and even though I don't know if it will air in Canada, the trailer definitely looks really good. It will probably make me cry about a million times.

Brad Pitt has his priorities straight

KATV — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:28:00 GMT

- I love, love, LOVE this story about how Brad Pitt passed on an easy gig that paid $5 million US in order to take his kids trick-or-treating. Curse you, Angelina!

- Speaking of men I love dating women I hate, is Mark "Puck" Salling from Glee now dating Audrina Patridge? Don't be hypnotized by her dead, dead eyes, Mark!

- And then there are people I hate dating people I hate even more: Avril Lavigne is reporteldy moving on to Wilmer Valderrama. Blerg.

- Only a few hours before the first New Moon screenings! Are you adequately excited? I'm not sure you are. If you want an idea of what you're in for, here's a review.

- Pamela Anderson has sat down her two kids to tell them about her sex tape with ex-husband Tommy Lee. There is a conversation nobody EVER wants to have with their parents. You're welcome for that mental image, by the way.

- Amy Winehouse's latest hospital stay wasn't because she "mixed cold medications" (snerk) but because her new breast implants were leaking. You are also welcome for that mental image.

- I love Donald Glover on Community, and I extra love him after this interview in which he talks about his switch from a 30 Rock writer to Community actor.

- If you're Mariah Carey and you've been invited to turn on the Christmas lights in a nice ceremony, what do you need? Twenty white kittens and 100 white doves, apparently.

- Will Ferrell's been chosen as the world's most overpaid actor, which... isn't entirely false. Not that Ferrell isn't funny (he is!), but his movie choices recently have not been the best.

Are Adam Lamberts handlers trying to un-gay him?

KATV — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:46:00 GMT

- Out magazine wrote an open letter to Adam Lambert, accusing his handlers of trying to make him seem "less gay" for the sake of album sales. Adam Lambert thinks Out should chill.

- I know you're really impatient for New Moon to come out on Friday, so to tide you over a bit, here's Robert Pattinson talking about taking his clothes off. You're welcome, Twi-hards.

- Hey, what do you know: there's a real girl underneath all of Katy Perry's makeup!

- Michelle Trachtenberg is going to design jewelry for Coach. And then she's going to come up with some devious plan to roofie Blair Waldorf, right?

- Heather Locklear finally returns to Melrose Place tonight, and in honour of that, here's our list of our favourite TV bitches. The episode aired in the US last night, and unfortunately for both Locklear and Melrose Place, ratings only went up 14%.

- Recent Dancing with the Stars botee Aaron Carter apparently owed the IRS $1 million US. Am I the only one disappointed that Aaron Carter makes enough money to owe that much in taxes?

- Here are some photos of True Blood hottie Alexander Skarsgard, but it's just not the same when he's not playing a vampire.

- I never really cared for Rose McGowan, but I'll admit she used to be very pretty. What happened? (Well, it's obvious what happened, but WHY?)

- This video purports to show Lindsay Lohan doing cocaine at a party, but it's all very vague and it's impossible to tell what she's doing. LiLo denies it, of course.

Ryan Reynolds: King of the Romantic Comedy? Uh...

KATV — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:54:00 GMT

- MTV thinks Ryan Reynolds is the new king of romantic comedies. Wouldn't The Proposal have had to be funny to be considered a comedy?

- Meanwhile, Reynolds' doppelganger, Dane Cook, wants to play The Riddler in the next Batman movie. See, now that's funny.

- New Moon is almost here! Here's today's roundup: The movie actually premiered in Los Angeles last night (check out the photos), and I was disappointed to see Taylor Lautner cover his muscles up. Then I remembered that I'm a grown woman and that's creepy. (Kristen Stewart thinks the adoration of Taylor is weird, too.) Robert Pattinson is reportedly embarrassed by the rumours that he's dating Megan Fox (thank goodness it wasn't true!). Also, we've got an interview with Lautner's fellow werewolf, Bronson Pelletier.

- Sorry, ladies, but Levi Johnston didn't go full frontal for his Playgirl photo shoot. Darn?

- I'm so jazzed about Heather Locklear returning to Melrose Place this week! So many people to slap, so little time.

- At the risk of dating myself, do you remember the band Dead or Alive? Well, if you've got the stomach to look at a terrifying photo of lead singer Pete Burns, here you go.

- I'll admit that Ugly Betty has gotten really good again this season, but I'm preparing myself for heartbreak when it's cancelled, because last Friday's episode got the worst ratings ever.

- But this cheered me up: a video of the best 100 quotes from The Wire. Warning: people swear in it.

January Jones should stick to pre-taped shows.

KATV — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:35:00 GMT

- January Jones really was terrible on Saturday Night Live last week. Awful! Of course, I don't think she's as great on Mad Men as other people seem to think she is, but compared to her SNL performance, she's practically Meryl Streep on Mad Men.

- Kathy Lee Gifford also wasn't impressed with SNL, but not because of Jones: she really, really hates Kristin Wiig's impression of her.

- So apparently, Lindsay Lohan doesn't pay for drinks, dammit! Maybe if bars had been a little more vigilant about making her pay for drinks, it would have saved us all a world of pain.

- I'm really not digging Hayden Panettiere's new bangs. It makes her look like a soccer mom trying to look sexy (and failing).

- OMG, you guys, Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas totally kissed! OK, it was just for Camp Rock 2, but STILL.

- So after all that gossip about Kellan Lutz's tempestuous fling with AnnaLynne McCord, the New Moon star is claiming they never dated at all. Riiiight, and Kristen and Rob are "just friends."

- It's a day that ends in y, which means Amy Winehouse is in the hospital because of "complications with medications."

- Megan Fox is still bitching about why Jennifer's Body failed, and this time, she's blaming Middle America. Yeah, it can't have been that the movie just wasn't that good.

- In "what were you thinking?" news, the UK posters for Couples Retreat airbrushed two of the not "as recognizable" actors out of the photo. Except that they happened to be the only black actors in the movie. The mind boggles.

- Will Arnett possibly appearing on Parks and Recreation?! Just when I thought this season couldn't get any better.

Rihanna Drops Video, Chris Brown Drops Single -- and the Circle of Shameless Promotion Continues

La La La Leah — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:41:00 GMT

Chris Brown's released a new single. You might want to avoid OK'ing lyrics like "I hit like Sosa" in future. Blecch.

And of course, what would a day with a Chris Brown headline be without a Rihanna one to match it. After a preview of her "Russian Roulette" video dropped earlier this morning, the full version (predictably) surfaced by this afternoon. And, of course, there's no possible way either of these two are leveraging their scary/violent past into shameless promotion.

Nothing says "dazzle me out of my pants" like pictures of Robert Pattinson in a lobster bib. Vanity Fair has graciously released even more outtake photos from their session with the New Moon star.

Johnny Depp is apparently helping out his old pal Nic Cage with that pesky $6 million owed to the government thing. We really hope he took that dinosaur skull off the poor guy's hands.

Leave it them down-home country folk at the CMAs to tell it like it is: Nicole Kidman's lips, boobs and face are scary.

I'm already jazzed about Wes Anderson's upcoming movie The Fantastic Mr. Fox, and this new video of the Anderson blocking out movie scenes for the animators has my jazzed levels reaching dangerous levels. The bit where he demonstrates how Mr. Fox does his morning exercises is cuter than a baby sloth crossed with a treadmill kitten.

The Who will be the one thing you'll watch during the Super Bowl this year. Good luck topping Springsteen's crotch shot, good sirs.

Kate Moss continues to make girls feel terrible. This time with words!

These tough economic times are even affecting Caprica, that Battlestar Galactica spinoff.

Jon Gosselin is countersuing TLC for $5 million because his contract wouldn't allow him to make paid public appearances. Last I checked, enough douche-y guys turn up at parties without being on the payroll.

Anvil will appear in Seth Rogen's Green Hornet movie, which leaves us wondering: will this superhero flick be more likely to (a) warm our hearts or (b) rock us 'til our ears bleed.

Hail Britney Spears, and, uh, Satan?

La La La Leah — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:28:00 GMT

-It's no secret that Britney Spears doesn't even post her own Twitter messages. But usually its a dutiful employee who's sending out 140-character missives -- not Satan.

-Could Rachel McAdams play the Black Cat in Spider-Man 4? We're getting tingly just thinking of it.

-You've probably heard how there are a bunch of classic board games that are about to get the big screen treatment. Hey, it worked for Clue. How bad could a movie based on Monopoly be? This bad.

-By now, you've probably gawked over the gown Rihanna wore to the Glamour Women of the Year gala. But have you caught the NSFW side view?

-To the left, to the left, Beyonce. Solange is quickly becoming our favourite Knowles. You've got to hear her cover of the Dirty Projectors' "Stillness is the Move." Plus, apparently she's the person responsible for bringing Beyonce and Jay-Z to that Grizzly Bear show awhile back. Heart!

-It looks as though America's Next Top Model is losing one Miss J, and gaining an XL muu muu and a shot of crazy. Andre Leon Talley and Kimora Lee Simmons are expected to join the cast next "cycle."

-It seems the many years and gajillions of dollars James Cameron invested into the making of Avatar were all in pursuit of one goal: the perfect CGI boobs.

-First Steven Tyler was out of Aerosmith. Then, two days later, he was in again. Today, he's back out. Your dad hasn't experienced this sort of emotional yo-yo-ing since mom quit taking her "medicine."

-Date Night is a movie starring Tina Fey and Steve Carell, which should indicate that it'll be totally awesome. But then the trailer surfaced and revealed that Fey and Carrell are re-inventing themselves as zany action heroes. Plus, we're pretty sure that's Nickelback on the soundtrack. All together now: BLERG.

James Franco likes it in Port Charles

KATV — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 20:36:00 GMT

- Here's the first promo for James Franco's stint on General Hospital. He's wearing all black! He's clearly up to no good.

- Winona Ryder just signed on to star in a CBS made-for-TV movie. Oh, how far they fall.

- Glee comes back tonight, you guys! Are you adequately prepared for the delight? Creator Ryan Murphy says tonight's episdoe is a "game-changer," a term I pretty much hate when it comes to TV, but I'll let it slide this time. Also, here's a great interview with the adorable Chris Colfer, who plays Kurt.

- Speaking of returning shows, Scrubs' millionth season starts Dec. 1, and they've now released some information on the new doctors.

- Beyonce and Paul McCartney, together at last! Kind of.

- Oh, dear: Adam Lambert would like to try acting. That sounds like a terrible idea. But then, I didn't think I'd like his album cover, and I was proven wrong.

- January Jones is hosting SNL this weekend, and to nobody's suprise, her promos are super cute.

- Wait - people actually like the cop couple from The Mentalist? But they're so boring!

Ed Westwick Gets Shirtless - But Not Pantsless, Unfortunately

KATV — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:38:00 GMT

- Ed Westwick did a bit of a striptease at a wedding in Milwaukee over the weekend - - but he only undid his shirt. Ed, pants can come off, too.

- Have you guys been following the hilarious Twitter feed, "Sh*t My Dad Says"? Sure, it's funny, but based on that alone, the guy got a TV deal. My dad does stupid stuff, too! Where are my millions of dollars?

- Amy Winehouse wants to be curvier again, and what better way to achieve that than butt implants? I have several cupcakes on my desk that prove there is a better, tastier way to curves, Amy.

- Taylor Lautner is on the cover of Men's Health and - oh dear - he's not shirtless. WHAT IS GOING ON?!

- Of course, Lady Gaga is in Vogue and she's just as wonderfully ridiculous as you'd expect. At least we can count on her for consistency.

- The gag real for The Ugly Truth has been revealed. Funny, I thought the entire movie was a gag reel.

- It's too bad about Eastwick getting cancelled (sorry, Paul Gross!), but on the bright side, it means that Ugly Betty is finally moving out of the Friday Night Death Slot. Silver lining!

- So after all the hubbub about it, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who was super bored by the Gossip Girl's threesome. Of course, it was between Dan, Vanessa and Olivia, who are too dull to live. Also, notice that the Parents' Television Council didn't say a word about the Two-and-a-Half Men threesome last night.

- And finally, I'm in love with this rap about guys who love Lost. It's a pretty good parody of The Lonely Island's "We Like Sportz."

Chris Brown is Confused. Awwww!

Jen@Dose — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:54:00 GMT

-Chris Brown is "confused" about why people think he should be in jail. Seriously? Does he need me to show him the power-point presentation I created?

-Speaking of today's disturbing domestic violence theme, Marilyn Manson's new video is gross. And I couldn't even get through half of the trailer for Casey Affleck's new movie (which is not a red-band trailer, but should be. Totally NSFW and offensive. Kate Hudson, you're better than this! And Jessica Alba... well, Kate Hudson is better than this.)

-Wait, this is what Jon Hamm looked like in high school? Sheesh. Does he also poo clouds and have woodland creatures help him dress in the morning?

-Speaking of Mad Men, this spoof is hilarious!

-Usher is finally divorced for reals.

-I think Sarah Jessica Parker needs to get her sense of smell checked. First, she's raving about the scent of her son's sweat, and now she's burying her nose in dirty diapers. These kinds of soundbites cannot be good for sales of her perfume line.

-I spent way, way too much time today reading about Sesame Street's 40th anniversary. Of course, not have as much time as I spent watching old Jem episodes since I heard about the upcoming movie. (I don't know about you, but that news made us here at Dose.ca kinda lose our minds...)

-Is the girl who plays Quinn on Glee dating Adam Brody? Adorable!

-I'm no expert on children (I keep trying to convince my friends' kids to do my housework, which is apparently a big no-no. Pffffttt!), but even I think it's a little weird that Suri Cruise is still rocking a bottle.

-Is Miley Cyrus dissing Jay Z? Why is she still allowed to give interviews?

-I don't know who came up with the idea to get actors to read from other actors' memoirs/poetry collection, but it's always a good time. The latest: Kristen Wiig reads Suzanne Somers' poetry. Awesome!

-Speaking of Kristen, why does she look so teeny tiny next to Taylor Swift?

-Jim Carrey's new website is blowing my mind grapes. So is this YouTube video. How'd they do that?!?

-I have a friend who's going to line up outside H&M next Saturday at 7am for the Jimmy Choo launch. I haven't decided if I'm going to join her -- part of me thinks that's crazier than a Russell Brand/Mel Gibson lovechild, but the other part of me thinks I'd look really hot in that leather jacket...

-I love this article -- Tina Fey counts down her 10 favourite moments from 30 Rock. My favourite, without a doubt, is Jack and Tracy's role-playing therapy session. (Although "night cheese" comes in a close second...)

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Kristen Gets Cranky

Jen@Dose — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:42:00 GMT

-Kristen Stewart is getting so sick of answering relationship questions, she's started dropping the f-bomb. She's at her best when she's a little lippy, huh?

-Madonna is going to take a break from the constant self-promotion...and start promoting her boytoy instead. Um, yay?

-I really didn't want to like the trailer for Angelina Jolie's latest movie as much as I do. It's like Wanted (without the silly bullet bending crap, or the yummy James McAvoy).

-Speaking of Angie, she may costar with Johnny Depp. Can our eyeballs handle that much beauty on one screen?

-Fergie continues to her denial mission. Thank goodness these stripper allegations came to light. Otherwise, we'd never get such fascinating soundbites like how Josh loves her "extra meat"!

-It makes me all kinds o' happy that Chris Brown's new tour appears to be tanking.

-The teacup pig craze knows no bounds! Even the Beckhams aren't immune!

-Did the Hoff get into a fight with an old man at a BC casino? What did the old dude do, hassle him?

-I can't believe Taylor Swift is wasting her Kanye West jokes on the SNL promos. Save the good stuff for the show, sweetie!

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Kidman Gets Kinky

Jen@Dose — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:53:00 GMT

-Do you want to picture Nicole Kidman doing crazy sexual fetish stuff? Of course you don't, but I can't get the image out of my head, so you must share my pain.

-Speaking of things we don't want to visualize, Josh Duhamel's stripper scandal is still not going away. Enter the good 'ol united front!

-The new site is up and running! (If you squint really hard, you can probably make out my blood, sweat and tears.) What do you think? Let us know!

-Remember back in the day when Britney Spears went crazy and shaved her head, and it suddenly became really NOT fun to talk about her anymore because she obviously had serious, serious issues? I've hit that point with Lindsay Lohan. This is me tagging out...

-This made my entire day: Alec Baldwin's daughter had a birthday cake in the shape of Lil Wayne's head. Not surprisingly, Alec is denying responsibility.

-And this made my entire week: a Dr. Horrible sequel actually seems to be happening!

-Kim Kardashian was punched in the face?!? Aw man, I miss all the good stuff...

-Here's our first look at James Franco on General Hospital. (I'm also loving the news that he's coming to 30 Rock!)

-Those crazy Chris Martin/Kate Bosworth rumours just got the official shut-down.

-This and this and this should sustain Twi-hards until New Moon comes out. Not to mention the Harper's Bazaar outake photos. Oh, who am I kidding. Nothing will sustain them!

-Speaking of Twilight, this parody novel is hil-ar-i-ous. I'd never be able to get through it all, but props for effort.

-No one can quite figure out which ex-boyfriend Sienna Miller was lingerie shopping with this week. Atta girl!

-The gloves are off in the custody battle between Sandra Bullock and Jesse James' ex, (who should try serenading her with Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock. That'll soften her up).

-I watched Say Anything again this weekend (which turns 20 this year). I love the crap outta that movie!

-Speaking of good movies, Paste is counting down the 50 best from this decade. (I dig that Half Nelson made the top 20.)

-Glee + Alexa Chung = two of my favourite things!

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Lindsay Lohan's Wild Weekend

Jen@Dose — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:19:00 GMT

-It was a rough weekend for Lindsay Lohan. Not only did she reportedly snog Gerard Butler (ewwww!!), she also freaked out over a fake gun.

-But her weekend was nothing compared to Paris Hilton's. She and her boyfriend tried to recreate Rihannagate. Classy.

-Mel Gibson's rep has confirmed his Octodad status.

-I can't believe the studio actually let Robert Pattinson deny the rumours that he's dating Kristen Stewart in his new Vanity Fair interview. That's no way to sell movie tickets, buddy!

-Now that he's officially single, Rob's free to have a good time. And that's just what he's doing. (Pssst, call me!)

-My girl-crush on Heidi Klum always gets a little bit deeper after her annual Halloween party.

-The Hoff might be getting his own reality TV show? Oh, how I'd love to pretend that I won't watch this!

-I adore this Where the Dirty Hipsters Are video.

-Katie Holmes got a job! Awww, that's cute.

-Blake Lively says she dresses just like Serena. So her boobs are always on display in real life, too?

-We still have to wait until next week for a new episode of Glee (boo!), but at least we can relive the cast singing the national anthem at the World Series last weekend.

-Rihanna's going to finally break her silence about the Chris Brown incident. I wonder why she waited until now? Oh. Never mind.

-The movie studio has released a behind-the-scenes video on how they made the New Moon wolves look so...um...wolfy.

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Miley's Stalker Goes Free

Jen@Dose — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:14:00 GMT

-Miley Cyrus' alleged stalker has reached a plea deal. In even more disturbing Miley news, these sickos are threatening to kill a kittie if she doesn't return to Twitter. Geez, I thought I attracted the crazies!

-Speaking of stalkers, Ryan Seacrest's was just arrested.

-Jimmy Fallon's Robert Pattinson impression was pretty funny. Let's hope he's ready for the deluge of hate mail that's sure to follow.

-Randy Quaid and his wife failed to show up to court again, and are now facing extradition.

-Jude Law is denying those rumours that he's reunited with Sienna Miller. How weird would that be?!?

-Today was a day filled with music premieres: the Adam Lambert song (I don't really get it, but people are peeing themselves over this one), and the Britney Spears video (lame, but at least she's nearly back to full hotness levels).

-I'm pretty sure this spoof of The Box is way better than the movie will be.

-Forget what OK! magazine is saying about Robsten breaking up. Everyone seems to think it's dog poo. Total dog poo.

-Want to know who's the hottest Canadian music acts? Check out this handy list.

-Ellen has been doing this thing where she hides in her guests' dressing room and scares the crap out of them, but the absolute best reaction so far has come from Taylor Swift.

-I've been pretty on the fence about the Vampire Diaries, but last night's actually didn't suck (no pun intended). Here's the big spoiler.

-Glee's Mr. Shuster (who turns 31 today -- anyone else surprised he's that young?) is going to record his own solo album. Let's hope it does as well as the cast's "Don't Stop Believin'" cover, which was just certified gold.

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Josh Duhamel Responds to Strippergate

Jen@Dose — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:58:00 GMT

-Josh Duhamel is denying those reports that he cheated on Fergie with a stripper. And here he probably thought the only embarrassment he'd have to deal with this month was the When in Rome trailer...

-Wow. Speidi really stretched the limits of their imagination with this Halloween costume, huh?

-The Taylors (Lautner and Swift) are being coy about their relationship. Awwww. Seriously, any more photo opps between these two and my teeth are going to rot.

-Jon Gosselin's girlfriend says he's emotionally abusive. She's still with him, of course. She just wanted you to know.

-Wait -- Gossip Girl is in danger of being cancelled? Noooooo!

-Those burglars who targeted Megan Fox, Lindsay Lohan, Ashley Tisdale, Paris Hilton and a whole whack of others used the Internet to scope out their targets. See? It's not just for porn!

-Ok, so I know everyone and their dog is trying to cash in on the New Moon madness, but this is just getting stupid. At least the ridicule has already begun.

-Jessica Simpson wants an "intellectual" man. Too many jokes..brain hurting...

-Brad Pitt kinda sucks at riding motorcycles. At least the paps are good for something: scapegoats.

-I'm going through some serious Glee withdrawal this week (curses, World Series!). So much so, that I've resorted to reading spoilers. I'm expecting the shame spiral to set in any minute.

-The Office music video is even funnier than I expected!

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